Escape This

happy fasting

2011-08-02T09:27:00.003+08:00

Happy Ramadhan al-Mubarak everybody. 'Tis the time of year where we fast the whole day and then binge eat. Errr.. Well that's what most people do. Haha. What's the point then huh.
Skipped sahur today and yesterday and regretting it now. I'm imagining the 3 huge samosas I saved from sungkey for my sahur this morning. Mmmmmmdrool. But was too sleepy to wake up. Haih. Ok ok, tomorrow I will make it a point to wake up. Been getting too little sleep lately. Partly work and partly leisure. Too many holidays for the past few weeks. Fun nonetheless.
Went to Kota Kinabalu last weekend. It was a pretty relaxed and chilled out holiday. No detailed planning to stick to, just cruising along and doing things as and when we felt like doing. That's how a holiday should be. Have you ever went on a holiday where someone is always keeping track of where, when, and what? What we should see. Where we should go. What time we should wake up tomorrow. I mean, yeah, there must be some sort of planning for the whole holiday, but come on, take it easy. Not everything must be planned out. I had a friend who had every single thing detailed out BEFORE we even got there. Where to eat, when to eat, what to see, what time we should wake up, when we should go swimming, which market we should visit, and the list goes on. It felt like boot camp. Although I've never been to one. You get what I mean.
Am thinking of getting a 2nd hand car. I like Suzuki Vitara. Haha don't ask why. No particular reason, I just think it's kinda cool. Especially a yellow one. Weee. After browsing online, I found out that the 2nd hand value is around RM20,000. Not bad ey? Just something to get me around. Here's a pic:
Is it just me or is it colder here in the office when you're fasting? Brrrrr!

post-holiday blues

2011-07-24T23:34:00.003+08:00

Well hello there. Been awhile hey. Seems like every time I decide to update my blog, it's a Sunday. And yes, you guessed it, tomorrow's Monday. The day you're supposed to hate with all your might. I just think of it as the least favoured day of the week (trying to be more positive here).
Just came back from Krabi yesterday. Went will all the besties and Budak Kentot. Wee it was fun fun fun and more fun!! But I must say that Krabi is a bit too touristy. The beaches are nice but there are just so many people it kinda sucks. But it's great to be there with the besties. I miss them already huwaaaa! :'(
Ok so let's see what's new since I last blogged. Hmm.. I'm still in RHB. But am in a different department. I think I've been in 4 different departments since I worked, that's like less than 2 years. Now I'm in a department called Business Planning & Alliances. It was created recently for the sole purpose of planning the business of the Retail Department. But didn't really do what it's supposed to because we always get caught up with events and ~~shit~~ stuff. And now my boss has left to join Media Prima (the company that owns TV3 and all). She actually asked if I wanted to join her there, but Papa advised me not to, so here I am still.
I'm done with my MBA classes and exams. But I still have my final project to work on. Oh, which reminds me why I'm staying up late on a Sunday night. Well hello zombie-me tomorrow.
There's this one mosquito in my room. Bit me in 5 different spots already and it's beginning to annoy me errghhh. And now I'm hungry again. Had dinner at Tashiny's. It's an Indian makan place nearby and it's a really chilled out place to lepak. Plus the food is good. Current favourite place. Should've tapau-ed a tosay or something.
Suddenly I miss Perth. And the chilly winds. And Freo. And San Churro. And Makan-Makan. And Transperth. Haih.
Ok, better get started with my final project (-_-).
I'm munching on French Vanilla Cadbury Chocolate. It's the best I tell you.

late bloomer Sunday

2010-12-19T22:18:00.004+08:00

Today began rather sluggishly. Woke up early, had breakfast, lazed around for a bit, browsed the net, and fell into a disturbed sleep where I dreamt I was in a house being broken into by vampires. Apakah? Felt even lazier and ever more sluggish after the nap. Not that I'm not usually sluggish on Sundays, but today was awarded as The Extra Sluggish Sunday.

Cooked Chili Chicken today.

Looks good hey. The taste was so-so. Haha. Okay laaaaa.. I only used what I had in the fridge so it's acceptable. yerrrr..

Sluggish-ness peaked to an all time high in the afternoon so I decided to just watch a movie. Picked Madagascar 2 but the damned DVD got stuck a few minutes into the movie. Geez. That's like my second DVD for the same movie. Scrap that. Maybe God doesn't want me to watch it for some reason. Eheh. So I chose A Beautiful Mind.

It's a fantastic movie about a mathematician with schizophrenia. Made me feel like sitting down and doing some mathematical problems. NOT. ahah. I used to suck big time in maths during high-school. Not that I hated it, oh no, on the contrary my dear, I loved it. BUT. It hated me. And so we just couldn't be. It was never meant to be, Maths and I.

Oh but wait! There's a twist to my little tale. The DVD got stuck. Right at the last 10 minutes of the movie! Oh the agony!!!!! Had to finish watching it on Youtube. Haih.

Moments of prolonged inactivity and dysfunctionality dulls me into a moody and gloomy person. Funny thing is, the more I feel like this, the more dysfunctional I become. And so it becomes a vicious cycle. But it always helps to put on some funky music and shakin' yourself silly! Woohoo!

Mr. Suparman come back quick! But oh wait. Wonder Woman is also flying off soon. Dang.

oh, think twice

2010-12-17T20:15:00.003+08:00

Listening to Phil Collins - Another Day in Paradise. The song is about the more unfortunate people in the society i.e. homeless people. I recall a conversation I had with the cleaner lady at my office. She said she brought food from home for lunch. With her measly income, she can't afford to eat at the cafe, she said. And she would keep some of that food for tea-time coz by 4pm she'd be hungry already. It somehow made me think how lucky we are to have what we have. We sometimes don't realise that we are so blessed and we take for granted things that others may not be able to enjoy at all. Alhamdulillah we have more than enough food on our table, nice clothes to wear and a decent roof above our heads. Not to mention great family and friends around us to give us the support we need.
Tomorrow is my Franchising exam but I don't feel like studying tonight. Might just sleep soon and wake up early to study.
Had an Away Day on Thursday last week. Organised by RHB for middle management to do some brainstorming for next year's strategy. I was lucky enough to be invited. Our team discussed on ways to overcome the declining profit margin due to price wars between banks. In other words, everyone is competing in terms of price, meaning prices are going lower and lower. This translates into lower profit margin for the bank. The other topic we discussed was ways to increase brand awareness of RHB. Our team had an awesome presentation. The boss liked it. We proposed for the bank to create a Service Excellence Culture in RHB. It was a huge idea, which the boss liked, but I don't think he's ready to implement it. Even if he wanted to, if the top people didn't want to, it wouldn't work anyway. But some smaller scale ideas were taken into consideration. Other teams had fantastic ideas too. But our team had the best presentation. Ahah. All those years doing presentations in Uni paid off well. Weee... Oh, yes, I was the presenter for my team. Terer tak anak mami?? *self-praise in action. Hihihihihi. Angkat bakul sendiri jap.
Also had an Annual Dinner last week. Yes it was quite a hectic week. And the hectic aftermath is still spilling over to this week. Anyway, the dinner was ok. Performance were bad because there were girls in short shorts kangkanging their legs and shaking their boobs with no apparent motive or benefit to themselves geez and there were drag queens in almost ALL the department performances. Why? I don't get it. It was funny when the first department had a guy in a short dress dancing the waka-waka. But when subsequent ones came up with those tight-clothes-fake-boobs, it was just embarrassing. Have you ever felt embarrassed for someone else? Yes that's what I felt. And to add to the embarrassment, our MC for the night was Harith Iskandar!! I mean what image of RHB are we sending out to him?? Even HE was so appalled by our performances that he made some remarks about it, albeit subtly and jokingly. He must be telling fellow comedians how bad RHB's standards are. Of course, we are not performers, we are bankers, but can't we at least practice a little bit of decency on stage? Performing for our Chairman and Board of Directors. And guest artists. Oh dear.
And so I ended up downloading one whole album of Phil Collin's greatest hits. Haih. Pantang dengar lagu best. Nak jugak the whole album.

Goodnight.

awal muharram

2010-12-07T06:58:00.003+08:00

Selamat menyambut Awal Muharram everyone! For those who may not know, it is the Islamic New Year. The beginning of a new calendar for Muslims. Hmmm. Sooo.. I guess it's not too late to make some new year's resolution eh? Right. So let's start.

1. My new year's resolution for the new Muslim year is to be a more disciplined person. Wake up early. Exercise everyday (no matter how light / short the session). Eat moderately. While cooking yesterday and discussing healthy food, Beth wisely said: "I think ah, we shouldn't be so picky with food lo. We should eat moderately. If we eat too much of something ah, even if it's supposed to be good for the body, oso not good leh". Well said, Beth. Well said.

2. I would like to own a house by the end of the year. This was my resolution for 2010 (Gregorian calendar) but since I am unable to achieve it (unless I miraculously get / win / hijack a house by 31st December 2010), I guess I'd have to try it this year. I haven't devised a concrete strategy for this but I do have something in mind. Just gotta put it down on paper.

3. I would like to have at least ONE marketing idea for RHB Islamic Bank that would actually boost its brand image. Provided it is implemented, that is. But just to come up with an idea would be great. Something different from what other banks are doing. OR similar but more effective. Yea. So far, after some reading up and online researching, the Great Marketing Idea is still eluding me. But I do believe it will come soon. Ideas anyone?

I guess those are the more important ones that I would definitely work hard for. There are other minor ones such as improving my guitar-playing, reading more books, getting an iPod (hahaha), finishing my MBA (errr..minor resolution?? haha lucky Mummy doesn't read my blog), and cooking Briyani at least once for the officemates and friends.

If I can achieve ALL of the above, I'd be one happy speck in the universe.

Do you sometimes feel like you're just a tiny speck in this whole wide universe? Even in this big city (which is merely a slightly bigger speck in the universe), I feel like a tiny dot on the population statistic (if I even make a dot. I'm most probably a quarter of a dot in THAT dot). Haih. But it does give you a sense of freedom. It's like no one gives a ~~shit~~ damn what you do, what you think, or what your work attire is today. I mean who cares if you wore the same pants twice to work right? Does anyone care? Is it the end of the world? No. You don't matter. So wear those pants for the whole week if you like! Go ahead! Liberate yourself!!!!

Was jogging this morning and noticed how insignificant we can be sometimes. But it's not necessarily a bad thing. Insignificant does not mean our existence is useless. It just doesn't have a huge impact on a lot of people, that's all. But we do matter to those around us. Which is good enough. Or something. Do I make sense? Yadadadadadadadadadadddaaaaaaaaaaa...

Morning post-jog rambling. Haih. So I think I should shower and scrape off some of this dried sweat. Miss Beth is still sleeping. She woke up for a while and said "why am I sleeping on your side of the bed leh?" errrr......

bananas for dinner

2010-11-29T21:16:00.002+08:00

This was last week's read. The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin S. Sharma. My colleague (I meet him on the RHB bus to work everyday) lent it to me. He said he read it but it didn't really appeal to him because the story evolved around the Indian mystics / beliefs / traditions / etc. Ok whatever. He read some of it and lost interest. So he told me to try it. My verdict? Hmm.. well the story-line is a bit cliche / lame but the principles and the way it has been put so that it is easy to practice, has left a deep impact on me. I am so glad I read this book.
It wasn't like the most enlightening book I've ever read because most of what it preaches in there, I've read from other books or heard from my dad (he likes to tell me things about the mind and stuff). So I was very pleasantly surprised that this simple book had such an intense impression on me. Let me give you an example (cheyy bunyi kedak lecturer jak ku tok). Well the book mentions that it is good habit to rise with the sun, meaning to wake up early. I knew this long time ago and had always wanted to be a morning person. But I never could get myself to do it for more than a few weeks at most. BUT, after reading this book and the way it described waking up early and its benefits, I just decided that I'm going to wake up early from then on. Like mind just decided, "Ok I will wake up early from now on". The next day, I automatically woke up at 5.45am (I usually wake up at 6.30-7.00am, and with much difficulty). And the day after, again I woke up at 5.45am. (I set my alarm at 5.30am but I would only sit up and suddenly feel wide awake at 5.45am). And so it continued until today. FEELS ~~GOOD~~ GREAT!!
Of course, that was just one part of my life that has changed since reading this simple yet impressionable book. Do read it! If it doesn't give that much of an impact on you, issokay. At least you can improve your English by reading. Ahah.
Today I got off the bus from the Bangsar LRT at the bus stop and suddenly drizzling rain morphed into cats and dogs. I was getting wet just standing there under the skimpy bus stop. Was losing all hope of getting home dry before the sun went down because it looked like the type of rain that would last very long. And I was wearing my favourite moccasins. Didn't want to spoil 'em in the rain. So I sat on the wet bench and was just about to take out my current book (Ageless Body, Timeless Mind by Deepak Chopra. Book review coming soon! hehe). Suddenly a car pulled near the bus stop and I was getting ready to run like mad if it was some crazy man trying to kidnap me. But the front window wound down just a little to reveal a familiar face who asked me if I needed a lift home. It was an aunty I always see on the bus but have never spoken to. The unknown aunty turned out to be Mrs Tee and Mr Tee was also in the car. Together with a small noisy ~~bitch~~ dog. Mrs Tee kept shushing the dog by saying "quietttt quiett... this is mummy's frienddddd" (read in typical Chinese style). They sent me home. Oh so glad I didn't have to wait at the bus stop. But the rain actually stopped the moment we reached my house. adeh. Oh well. Nice people do exist!
But who knows, they might be the Mr and Mrs Tee who kidnap girls from bus stops and keeps 'em in the basement because they don't have children and have always wanted lots of kids. Omagaahhhh!
Ok enough drama. Going to sleep. I think having bananas for dinner is a bad idea. It makes you all energetic. Heh. Goodnight to me.

good morning Saturday!

2010-11-27T08:32:00.004+08:00

A very good morning I bid to the respected Judges, Madam Time-keeper, fellow debaters, and audience.

Hua hua hua. I remember those times when I debated in high-school. It was fun. But every time before the debate was going to start, I'd get a stomachache. Like a real, have-to-go-to-toilet-for-some-business kinda stomachache. Haih. And every time I play hide-and-seek, I'd feel like peeing whenever I'm hiding.

Err. Ok. Just saying.

Please refer to picture. That was my Saturday morning breakfast. Oh yeah man. Looks good ey? Tasted even bettah! Hehehe. So this is what you call Baked Eggs with Onions and Cabbage. It's supposed to be with green onion (?) and spinach. But Wonder Woman has the Power of Modification. And so she used what she had in her trusty fridge (which isn't hers anyway, it's the landlord's). The trusty fridge revealed some cabbage. I don't know how long it's been in the fridge. But cabbage do last very long huh? Simply miraculous I tell you.

I got this recipe from taste.com.au. The original recipe was of course a bit more complicasiong and had more delicious stuff like cheese and cream added to it. But ~~sengkek~~ poor me had no lavishness to spare so I had to make do with the miraculous cabbage and onion and the multi-purpose Ajishio black pepper.

Cabbage
Onion
Egg
Pepper and Salt
Butter
Herbs

Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celcius. Saute onions and cabbage (cut into small pieces) with butter in a pan until onion is just soft. Grease ramekin with butter and place onions and cabbage. Season with salt and pepper (I used Ajishio pepper so I did not use salt). If you have herbs, sprinkle some in. In the recipe, this is also where you put the cheese. Crack an egg over the cabbage and onion. In the recipe, thin cream is poured over the egg (but not over the yolk).

Place ramekin in an oven proof dish. Fill the dish with boiling water so that the water comes to about half-way up the ramekin. Bake for about 12-15 minutes or until you see that the egg has turned white and the yolk has set. Adjust length of baking according to preferred state of cooked egg. While waiting for eggs to cook, toast some bread, butter 'em and cut into fingers or toes or whatever. Once cooked, eat with toast. D'oh. Tada! As easy as 1-2-3 and A-B-C and alif-ba-ta- and I'-er-san and ni'-duo-taruh- and siji-loro-telu and... ok dah habis.

Project Buah Melaka Part II

2010-11-21T11:11:00.017+08:00

So this is my Sunday morning project. Buah Melaka. Also known as Onde-onde but onde-onde is more for the Indonesian brown round kuih with sesame seed covering it. Anyway, whatever it's called, here is a step-by-step guide for making Buah Melaka. My style! Hehe enjoy.

1. Get your ingredients ready. It would be better to use Pandan leaves extract instead of green colouring and Pandan flavour but I finished my Pandan leaves on my first try. Haha. Yeah my first try was a miserable failure due to 'unforeseen' circumstances. Muehehehe.
Glutinous Rice Flour (tepung pulut)
Palm Sugar (gula melaka)
Green Colouring
Pandan Flavouring
Grated Coconut
Salt to taste
Water

2. Mix flour, water, flavouring, and colouring in a bowl and mix. You can use a spatula or your hands. I like to get my hands dirty. heee. Oh but make sure you unscrew the flavour and colouring bottles BEFORE you get your hands dirty. Or you'd have to tuck them under your armpits and twist them with your clean hand. Like a certain someone.

p/s: if you're using Pandan leaves, blend the leaves with some water and strain the juice. Mix the juice into the flour to get the colour and flavour. But the colour will be a lighter green, which isn't a big deal.

3. Mix until the consistency is soft but mouldable. Add more flour if it's too soft, and more water if it's too hard. It should be soft but not sticky. Kinda like Play-Doh. But softer. And edible. And smells better. You get the picture.

4. Roll some into a small ball. Like this.

5. Don't forget to cut your gula melaka into small pieces like these. Depending on how big you want your buah melaka to be. The bigger your sugar pieces, the bigger your buah melaka will have to be. I had these leftovers from my first try so you might want to cut the sugar pieces before you start mixing the flour.

6. Flatten your dough ball a little and place a piece of sugar on it. Oh and while you're at this, boil water in a pot.

7. Cover the sugar piece with the dough.

8. Until fully covered like this.

9. Re-shape into a smooth ball.

10. Make sure the water is boiling and drop your ball into it.

11. Make more balls and drop 'em in. Yes, mine are a bit odd shaped. Well too bad. Deal with it! alu emo indah.

12. If you notice, the one near the metal sieve is floating. Part of it is above the surface of the water. That means it's cooked.

13. Scoop it out like you'd scoop out a goldfish from a tank. I remember when I had 2 goldfish and my sis and I would enjoy scooping them out with our hands before cleaning the tank. They're so soft and slippery and squishy. Hihi. Of course, you wouldn't want to scoop these balls out with your hands. I mean, if you really want to, go ahead but don't say I didn't warn ya.

14. Drop the ball into the grated coconut.

15. Roll it in until fully covered like this. Hmm my fingers look weird here. Chubby. heh.

16. Voila! Take a bite and feel the burst of sweetness in your mouth! mmm..

Warning: let cool slightly before biting, lest you get a burst of bubbling hot palm sugar on your tongue. yahhh gik rasa.

croak

2010-11-20T23:09:00.002+08:00

Owww. Everytime I swallow it hurts. When I try to talk it hurts. Bottom line: My throat hurts like mad. I feel like it's swollen up inside. Inflamed. I feel like pouring Dettol down my throat so it'll kill all the bacteria which must be the culprit here. I mean why else would your throat feel so inflamed right? when I imagine what it must look like right now, I see RED. Which means pain.
On a lighter note, my exam went well. Despite the fact that I started studying at 8am this morning. And I think by 11am I was already bored and started playing Twinbee on the Gameboy. Heh.
Last night was a feverish night. Didn't get to study at all. Headache developed into a full blown throbbing-piece-of-skull-with-bricks-inside. Don't know why I keep falling sick nowadays. Must be the weather. And I thought I was immuned to ALL SICKNESS. I am Wonder Woman!! over kau nyah.
Got a free ride on the bus coming back from college this evening. The bus was actually not operating when I flagged it down. But the driver knew where I wanted to stop so he just gave me and my friend a lift. Heee. Regular customer bah. Bluek.
The kid in the next room farts a lot. And they sound so loud... and.. forceful. Yea, that's the word. Forceful. Please imagine a forceful fart now. I think he has a problem with flatulence.
Was Googling flatulence and came across vaginal flatulence. AHAH. Also known as vart, queef, and fanny fart. AHAHAH. I like the last one.
Right, enough with obscenities. Sorry bout that. (Omigod I just heard another forceful fart by the kid next door. gross).
Ok. I think I need to lie down now. Sitting up doesn't seem to help my throat at all (and lying down would? you be trippin' girl! apa kaitan kah) Get well soon to me.

friday night in

2010-11-19T19:04:00.004+08:00

~croak~ am having a sore throat. Gah. I think it was because I forgot to brush my teeth last night. Ahah. Yes, please be grossed out. I am grossed out too. But I was just so sleepy after dinner, was lying around foolin' around with the phone and fell asleep. Woke up in the morning in an awkward position on the bed with a pasty mouth. Eew. AND to make it worse, had Maggi Goreng before I slept. AND didn't drink water after dinner. Yeap, all that salty, ajinomoto stuck at the back of my throat the whole night. Oh the torture of foregoing just a few minutes of brushing.
Was very unproductive at work today. Wait. I've been unproductive almost everyday this week. Hehe. Seriously, can't seem to get the momentum going. Maybe it's the holiday mood. And maybe it's the stupid branches always giving crappy cases to me and expecting me to empanel the projects ASAP. Getting sick of that word. ASAP. As soon as your ASS! Grrr. Right, so maybe you don't know what I'm talking about but nevermind. Please be annoyed / pissed off together with me anyhow. All together now: GRRR.
Oh yes. The evil phone call that I was supposed to make yesterday. Yes, made the call. And it was all good. What a BIG relief! Imagine if I had done it sooner. I wouldn't have to torture myself all this while with self-induced worry and stress. Haih.
Tomorrow is my Strategic Human Resource Management exam. Haven't studied crap. Oh crap.
Listening to Better Together by Jack Johnson. His songs always make me feel relaxed.
Came back yesterday and today in crazy pouring rain. It has been raining so heavily and the lightning has been so bizarre it feels like the end is coming. Choi! But seriously, yesterday looked like DOOMSDAY (say it in loud booming voice thanks). Maybe that's why my head suddenly throbbed when I got back today. Didn't shampoo yesterday after I was in the rain here and there and was in a bit of rain today as well. And why am I talking about shampooing my hair here? Jeez. NEXT.
Sometimes I ask my married friends what they talk to their spouse about. Most of them would answer "oh only necessary things like the bills, everyday chores, and the like". Isn't that sad? I mean, what's the point of being married to someone if you can't tell them about your day, talk about the guy at the office who likes to eat all the food in the pantry, the kind bus driver who waited for you when you were late in the mornings (wait, if you were married, why would you still be using the bus for work? why can't I?? Is it wrong?? Racist!! aih tetiba).. Anyway, my point is, it's a bit demotivating to know that it's a norm among married couples to slowly degrade into non-conversing living partners after some time of being married. But that doesn't mean we should fall under the same category right guys?? *cricket sounds.
Okay. Am going to make meself Maggi Curry tonight. Yes Maggi again. Shuddup. This time I'll make sure I brush my teeth before bed. Not going to sleep much anyway, exam tomorrow remember? Right, so all the best to me in my exam. And bon apetit to me.

2010-11-18T16:12:00.001+08:00

1. This is a test blog from the office. Haha. Am up to here (puts hand near throat) with work but can’t be bothered. Errgghhh…

2. Has obviously over-estimated my ability to juggle work, studies, and business. And now am in quite a bit of debt. (-_-)”

3. A bit stressed with what my aunt will have to say to me. Have been meaning to call her for weeks (or months?) but haven’t mustered enough courage to actually do it. Can’t focus at work. And can’t sleep well at night thinking about this.

4. Can’t say it’s ALL my fault. Although I should say MOST of it is. Sigh. Reasons why I am at fault:

a. Dove head-first into this venture without proper calculation of risks, opportunities, resources, and capabilities.
b. No proper planning of operational strategy, marketing issues, and inventories.
c. Over-excitedness and over-impulsiveness for anything. This, I have to check and re-check in the future.

5. Feels good to write down the thoughts that have been bugging, haunting, worrying, and distressing me. But it still doesn’t make things better.

6. I am going to call my aunt today no matter what. Whether I like it or not. Whether I’m ready or not. By hook or by crook. Regardless of what my fears are telling me. No matter what I think she would say to me.

7. See the problem here is I think too much of what she MIGHT say to me without actually finding out. What if she’s all good about it? Or what if she’s going to scream and shout about it? No one knows. And the only way to find out is to call her. Yes, look her up in my phone’s contact list and press the green button. The EVIL green button, I should add.

8. Maybe I should quit blabbing (typing) in this blog and just reach out to that phone sitting just beside the monitor. I can see its evil buttons, from the corner of my eye. Yes ALL the buttons are EVIL, not just the green one. Except for the # button. It’s cute. Stop distracting me! NO STOP TORMENTING ME ALREADY!! OK OK I’LL CALL HER!! Huarrrrggghhhh…

9. Stay tuned tomorrow for the outcome of the dreaded, evil, fear-inducing, gut-wrenching, nail-biting, insomnia inducing, wicked PHONE CALL! [insert horror movie sound effects here].

hello there

2010-11-09T21:35:00.002+08:00

1. Been ages since I blogged. Well, Hello again.

2. What have changed since I last blogged? hmm.. I still work at the same place. So much for it being a temporary thing. Heh. But it has been good. My boss is great. Workmates are great. My sparring partner, Andy, is really great to work with. He pays attention to detail. I don't. So we really complement each other. Haha.

3. Still staying at the same place. Despite its shortcomings, this place has its plusses. Big plus is the convenience in terms of public transport.

4. Spent last weekend in Miri with Budak Kentot and her BF. Felt so good to be back in Miri after such a long time. But some places still raised memories I'd rather not remember. Nevertheless, I miss being there. Taking care of BlueGinger. Going for rojak and ABC. Ah but I guess things won't be the same if I was there anyway. Friends aren't there anymore. And Mummy is in Kuching. BlueGinger is long gone. Haih.

5. We are all imperfect beings. Made with flaws and deficiencies. To complete us, overcome those deficiencies, cover what is lacking in us, we have friends and family.

6. There are different types of friends for different phases in our lives and different parts of our personality. They all exist in our lives and are equally important, just not all at once. Some friends are needed more at certain times in our lives. But that doesn't mean they are only there for that moment. There are there to serve as reminders to us that we have people around us no matter how bad things are.

7. I have friends who contact me just when they need to ask me something (to their benefit). Sometimes I'd feel hurt, but when I think about it, I'm glad I'm the one she / he thought of. At least I'm in her mind. Maybe at this point of her / his life, she / he doesn't really need me and vice versa. But when our needs meet, that's when we'll reconnect. But these sporadic little connections are good to keep the connection just there. So it isn't totally lost.

8. But there are friends who remain part of my everyday life, ever since we became friends until now. It's like I am constantly in need of their presence. And I guess them too. Coz if was not so, we wouldn't be so connected.

9. Ahh the rantings of a sleepy-head. Forgive me if I sound as confused as my brain is. Aren't we all just a bunch of confused brains at some time or other?

~If it's meant to be, it will be~

saturday in bed

2010-08-21T20:19:00.002+08:00

Yup. Spent the whole of today in bed. Woke up real late, watched Futurama, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. And then prepared for break of fast and here I am. All full and ready for the night. Although I do feel like having some of that delish brownie sitting in the fridge. If only I had vanilla ice cream. Perfect.
Am beginning to get sick of this house. The people. Gahh..
The husband and wife (main tenant). Always fighting. Shouting away as if they might kill each other any moment. And then suddenly laughing and watching tv. Eeeh. Weird.
And sometimes when I just don't feel like talking to anyone, they'd ask me this and that, and start talking about this and that it just annoys me. And they talk a lot. Non-stop. Even sometimes when I wake up early in the morning to have my sahur, the wife would tell me some story about something I obviously don't care about, and I'd feel obliged to stand there to listen to her and then I'd have to rush for my sahur because the time was almost up.
The drunkard uncle (tenant in the back room). Rarely see him at home. Which is good. He comes home drunk middle of the night. But I don't give a hoot as long as he doesn't bother me. And he only whistles / hum "You Are Not Alone". Only one song.
And the ever-changing tenants of the room next to mine. So far I think there have been 5 different tenants since beginning of the year. The quiet Thai girl, who doesn't bother anyone and stays in her room most of the time. Wish she was staying in that room now. The 4 illegal Filipino girls who worked in a pizza delivery call centre. Very loud bunch of girls. With many2 issues and drama. Errggh. The Sabahan snatch-thief. Omigod he was such a dodgy character. And his dogs. Stinking bunch of pooping lil furballs. The Bangladeshi + Filipino couple and their lil boy. They were ok. Kid cried a lot, but that wasn't such a problem for me. But still, felt a bit crowded after a while.
Now that room is empty. I feel so much better. But I still wish I had a place of my own. With my own kitchen. And living room.
*daydreams about owning a house with a long porch and spacious kitchen*

first day of Ramadhan

2010-08-11T20:35:00.002+08:00

So Puasa is back again. Feels like it was just a few months ago that we last fasted. But it has been almost a year now. Wow.
Day started out fine. Woke up late for sahur. But managed to eat something.
Work was hectic. An urgent rate revision was due for announcement to the branches and the approvals were not finalised yet. argh. Damned red tapes.
To get the approvals, had to endure a rude and obnoxious PA to an equally obnoxious Head of something-something Department. I don't even know which Department he heads. Anyway, his PA thinks she is so important or something. As if I don't have anything better to do than to chase her for that stupid paper. So maybe I'm just a junior, but that doesn't mean you have the right to be rude to me. Whatever. *breathes in and out*
To cut the story short, finally managed to get approvals etc, and was drafting the email to send out to everyone, informing them of the rate revision. These emails I treat with care because once I send them out, it's going to reach hundreds of people and any mistake would spell DISASTER for me because they'd all start calling and demanding for answers and what-nots.
There I was, eyebrows all scrunched, peering at the screen, making sure everything was alright. AND trying to do it as fast as I can because I had to catch the RHB bus in order to reach home with enough time to prepare for break of fast.
And then my colleague passed me the phone with someone on the line. The person wanted to know about a case which had a special rate given to. I didn't quite get what he wanted and my mind was still on the email that I had to ensure gets out in time. So I tried to answer his questions by asking a colleague who was standing next to me. I guess he felt pissed off or something, and he put the phone down on me. Whaaa? Found out later that he was the Head of Post Approval. Well whatever, but it made me feel super low. I was just trying to help. Don't blame me if I don't really know half of what you're trying to say coz you're using all these jargons on me.. SRI? AA No?
And yea. Stupid colleague. Why did he pass the phone to me then? He's so senior, shouldn't he know who's in charge of special rates whatever shit???
So ok. I finished the email. Emailed it to my boss for checking (he wasn't in the office) and he replied, after a while, saying "good to shoot". While waiting for his email, I did some other non-urgent work and chit chatted with some officemates. And then a colleague asked why I was going back late. So I said I had to send this email out by today. And the colleague replied "Oh. Kenapa tadi tak buat? Tadi dok sembang-sembang je". MACHIB*I.
"aku baru dapat approval and sekarang tengah tunggu boss aku reply email lah bodoh.laknat.bangsat.bangang... arrrrgghh"
*breathe in breathe out*
And so I went down to wait for the bus. It didn't come. Guess the jam was so bad it got stuck somewhere. So took a cab with 3 other people who were waiting for the bus too. And yea the jam was superb.
Reached home with some kuih-muih for buka. Was breaking my fast and checked my email, just to see if there were any emails regarding my announcement. Lo and behold, there was an email from my boss. He wanted me to amend something on the email. Which I've sent out already. Which HE said "good to shoot". Which I've shown to 3 other people just to double check. Which now he wants amended. Great!
Now I'll look like an incompetent bastard who needs to amend her email and send it out again. Thanks boss.
Not to mention my overdued assignment which I don't quite feel like doing but I have to because my mom pays for my fees and if I fail I'd feel guilty. Gahh.. can't take this anymore. Too many things to do.
Now I'm in no mood to eat anything. Only had kuih muihs for buka.
Papa just called. And made me smile =)
He was conducting a training for unemployed graduates from 8am-1pm today. At 10am, as usual, he asked them when their coffee break was (some participants were non-Muslim, thus the coffee break). To which they would say "now". So he said "ok be back by this time bla bla bla bla". And, as usual, he automatically reached for a bottle of water in front of him and gulped down a quarter of it. After which he gasped at his participants, who were watching him, and said "OMIGOD I'm fasting!". And all of them practically rolled out of their seats in laughter. Ahahaha. He continued fasting after that coz it's ok if it wasn't intentional. Ahaha.. Funny Papa. How I miss him.
So tired I feel like sleeping for 2 whole days straight on. Make it 3 days.

assignmenting + blogging

2010-07-07T02:08:00.002+08:00

Supposed to be doing my assignment now. But am having a mental block in the middle of it and my eyelids are lead-heavy. If I pop a pillow near my head right now I'd probably sleep sitting upright like this. I so the sleepy huwaaa :(
Life ain't all about sunshiny days and happy smiley faces. And these past few weeks have been proof of that for me. So stressed out with work, with people, with situations, and most of all with myself. I am in need of a good rest. Haven't had proper sleep in weeks.
Sometimes when I feel really low I'd think about other people whose problems make mine seem insignificant and silly and not worth getting all emo about. And I'd feel more motivated to keep a positive mindset about things. But the problems would always creep up onto the ego and try to make itself the biggest problem anyone has ever felt and that it should be the centre of my attention. Bahh.
Hoping for people to comfort me isn't the best solution either. Because the closer you are to them, the higher your expectation of them. And the worse you feel when you are let down. But it does work when a good friend sympathies and give me some encouraging words to dwell on. Actually, come to think of it, talking to people and getting their feedback makes a huge difference. Especially when you know they are sincerely listening to you. But I'm not so keen to tell everyone my little dilemmas. And so I keep them in my little head and hope maybe those people I am banking on to encourage and motivate me would eventually ask me about my less-happy disposition. I sound like a loser.
Ok so I sound like a pathetic emo. But I am not feeling so good and I don't know how else to relieve myself. I'd probably feel a bit better tomorrow and cringe at the sappiness of this post. But what the heck. I'm so tired and in need of a quick fix now.
To make it worse, I've only got myself to blame for whatever I'm feeling. You are the cause to the effects you are experiencing. Or something like that. I read that somewhere. But it wouldn't hurt to seek some attention and a few words of consolation. ... right....?
A personal motivator right now wouldn't hurt. Any volunteers? :(
I need to slow down, think before I act, and remain calm. Yes.
Oh I think I just found the solution. I should read one of my self-help books. Ahaaa.. They always spur me into a renewed spirit for life and its challenges. Now why didn't I think of this sooner. Oh yea, coz I haven't had the time for a decent read this past few weeks. But after Friday (when I've submitted my hopefully-well-done assignment), I'd definitely pick up a self-help book to read.
I guess I should sleep now. Tomorrow is another day of urgent pending work and wasiat cases follow-upping and EF financing application processing and assignment writing during lunch and worrying about things and feeling lonely coz bestfriend at office has been transfered to Sabah. Bring it on!
Thank you for staying up with me. Made that bit of a difference. Really.

last few minutes of Sunday

2010-06-20T22:37:00.002+08:00

Quick! Before Sunday ends :(
Another working day tomorrow. Not that I'm complaining. But the weekend was so much fun, I hate to see it go. Plus, I had so much fun I neglected to do things I really had to, like my mountainous pile of laundry, my long overdue goal of painting the other walls in my room, and cleaning my post-tornado-stricken room. Chet!
Happy 1st Anniversary to Suparman and I.
I actually have nothing much to say. Or maybe I have so many things to say I just don't know where to start
"Everybody has their limits. Just give your best shot and if it still doesn't work, at least you've done the best you could"
Goodnight and Goodbye.

oh rainy day

2010-05-18T19:33:00.002+08:00

Came home walking in the rain. With my umbrella of course. That I got at a discount from Cotton On coz Budak Kentot bought some stuff there the other day. Would usually just take the taxi when it rains this heavily but hey what's the point of having my foldy umbrella if I ain't gonna use it right? But the rain was so heavy, only my head was kept dry.

While waiting for the RHB bus at the office (which, by the way, did not turn up stupid bus) and was watching people getting picked up by their husbands or wives from the office. This Malay lady got into her red Nissan Sunny. Her husband was driving. As she got in, she kissed her husband's hand. A malay custom as a sign of respect for the husband. Usually done towards elder people. Anyway, when she kissed her husband's hand, he responded by kissing her hand too. And they both laughed. Awww.... so sweet. I love seeing married couples being so warm and playful with each other.

Ok time to study.. wow never imagined I would actually look forward to studying! I'm sure the feeling would last no more than 5 minutes. Then I'll either fall asleep or get distracted with Twitter. heheh. So long peepz.

p/s: I like the word 'gorgeous'. =)

obsessive compulsive disorder

2010-05-17T20:04:00.002+08:00

Ok let's start with work. Arrived at work on time today. Here goes my ever-exciting work day:
Check work mail. No mail. As usual.
Read today's tweets. Makes me feel good but I can't tweet I don't know why.
Browsed online news.
Was hungry mid morning so with my partner in crime, Ima, went to cafe for snacks.
Went back up and was extremely sleepy. Couldn't stop yawning.
Went back down to surau for a snooze. Had a good half hour nap. Or was it an hour?
Lunch time. Went back down for lunch. But wasn't hungry yet so just hung out at the cafe.
Went back up late after lunch. Nobody cares anyway.
Browsed unblocked websites.
Made stupid jokes with Ima (my Sabahan friend) and Fifi (her bf. funny fat guy).
Was hungry by tea time. Had maggi in a huge mug that I got free.
Ima was hungry too so went down to cafe again for snacks.
Went back up and managed to fill up time with god knows what.
Balik!
Weekend was great! Mami and Budak Kentot were here. Uncle John too. Stayed at Boulevard Hotel as is customary whenever Mami comes over. Celebrated Mami's birthday on Saturday night (her birthday was on Sunday). Had Peking Duck! *slurrrpppp... me want more! Budak Kentot and I bought her a gorgeous olive green handbag from Topshop. She was complaining that all her bags were old and faded. Ehem. Hint2 la tu.
Watched Nightmare on Elm Street with Mr. Suparman and Budak Kentot. Freddy Krueger!!! I remember watching NOES movies when I was little. Used to get scared shitless. Now not so much, was mostly the suspense which scared me. Yerrdehhh.. hehehee..
Am obsessed with sanitising almost everything in my room nowadays. Everyday when I come back I would sanitise my phone first thing. And then I would spray my bed and pillows. The spray is kinda strong it makes me dizzy and makes my throat feel funny. Uhuh. I flyinnngggg...
Wish I could bake and cook again. Haih.
Fiat 127 Hatchback is cute. Saw an ad for a 2nd hand one for RM9,500. Not bad. Eeek I want.
I miss my pamly =(

mid-morning scare

2010-05-05T10:19:00.004+08:00

Was about to sit in front of the laptop and do the usual Facebooking, Twittering, Gmailing, and of course, Blogging, when I heard the dogs howling. A shiver ran down my back as I heard more dogs join Jack and Fatty (owner's dogs) in their howling chorus. What was it that they were howling at? What was it they saw? Eep!

But then common sense knocked me in the head and said "Hellloooowww.. it's like 9:30 in the morning. The sun is blazing. Any demons would be burned to crumbs by now. Why are you having shivers you dumbass". So why are the dogs howling on this beautiful sunny morning? Of which I'm supposed to be in the office but have decided to just go in the afternoon hohoho.

That's when I heard the voice. Sounds like howling dogs too but this one is definitely human. It's slightly high-pitched and very loud. It repeats over and over again the few words. I can understand some, but some I can't quite make out what she's saying. Yes it's a female voice.

"Surat khabar lama!!! Old newspaper!!! [Insert chinese version here]!!!"

Damn dogs. They do that EVERY single time. Scare me with their dumb howling. And just because they want to imitate the old newspaper lady.

The old newspaper lady. Back in the days, these newspaper guys used to shout in their loud hailers. Now they just playback a recording of their voices into the hailer. Imagine how they'd record the playbacks. Ahahaaha..

"Old newspaper!!! Oh wait let's do that again my voice was a bit too screechy"
"Old newspaper!!! hmm.. should I say 'payperrr' or 'paype'..? Do it one more time"
"Old newspaper!!!"

Have a wonderful Wednesday, everybody! =D

Oh one last thing. My mom just accepted a free-lance job as a columnist with New Sarawak Times (previously known as Eastern Times). hehe. I, of course, got the honour of reading her articles before she sent them in. Quality control. Ahahaha.. Nahh.. she just wanted feedback. Keep a lookout for Gracie's column! =)

kemenyannnnn...

2010-04-27T18:58:00.002+08:00

Gina is burning her kemenyan again. Eepp.. Lucky it's raining outside so it's cool and nice. Making me more open to forgiving her kemenyan madness.
Came home with an uneasy tummy. I don't know what's wrong with my stomach nowadays. There are days I would constipate so bad and there would be days I'd be going to the toilet for i-don't-know how many times. Today it's just all cramped and senak. Dunno. Papa says it's stress. My work ain't stressin' me out yo. Heck there's no work to stress out about anyway. I'm practically enjoying myself. But I do feel the heaviness in my mind of late. Maybe it's the lack of certainty at the job. Or not. Entahlah.
I am not a psychic.

hello night owls

2010-04-25T02:48:00.002+08:00

Am not asleep and am not surprised. Don't feel like lying down just yet. I'm sleepy but I know lying down doesn't mean I'm going to fall asleep right away. Not tonight at least. The mind is an annoying thing. Can we just do without?
A friend sent me FOUR bars of Cadbury Dream all the way from Perth. *smiles* Kinda surprised they arrived all in good shape. I thought they would've melted or something. Yayy is this the beginning of more Chocolate-In-The-Mail adventure? heeeheeeheee..
Tomorrow I am going to finish painting the other walls of my room. I have to do it. No matter what. Been procrastinating for so long.
Started a distribution business with a friend here. We are supplying Keropok Ikan Keli (no preservatives hehe) and Ikan Keli Salai. Went from shop to shop to sell our products and the outcome has been quite encouraging. In fact, it has been so encouraging that we are worried we would not be able to supply in time. Hmmm.. My aunt produces them in Kuching, by the way. So we have to import them here. Can't wait to get our first shipment and start distributing seriously! =D
Interview with a bank on Monday. Wish me luck! But I have a funny hunch that this isn't going to be so hard. hmmm.. Call it over-confidence if you want. I call it connection. Hahaha.. But seriously, wish me luck anyway.
Going to start my Masters soon. Part-time that is. Only on weekends. My first class will be in early May. Back to the books we go.
I read somewhere before that when you're feeling down/sad/etc, just smile and instantly you will feel better. Even when you don't feel like smiling, just by moving your 'smile muscles', you sort of trick your mind into thinking that you're happy and it will start to produce happy hormones (endorphins, if I remember correctly). So smile. =)

Good night.

repeat after me

2010-04-20T20:14:00.004+08:00

sitting here, staring at the screen and i hear piano being played in the background. either the tv or the neighbour. i've heard the neighbour practicing the piano a few times. but this time it sounds more like the tv. some sort of sweet love song. in a scene where there is obviously an act of love being portrayed. wish i was in that scene where the music is being played. maybe as a tree or something. heh. beats sitting here wondering what to do.

but life is not tv.

repeat after me. i am my own happiness.

good.

april fun

2010-04-03T11:03:00.003+08:00

Happy Saturday Morning everybody! =D
Waiting for Budak Kentot and Mr. Suparman to come. Budak Kentot arriving at noon I think and Mr. Suparman just left home. Should be here in about 2 hours.
John and Gina have been so nice to me. Makes me feel guilty just thinking of moving out. Last weekend they bought me nasi lemak for breakfast. And there were a few dinners when I was bingeing on spicy kerepek ubi in one corner of my room when Gina would pop her head into my room and say there are some satays or cucur for me. Today they bought me roti telur and hot nescafe. Awwwww.. Wait. Are they trying to bribe me so I wouldn't leave? hmmm...
Was reading something in the news about this guy who threw someone's poodle out of his car window at a bridge out of anger. The couple who owned the poodle said "we feel very sad. it's like losing a child". And they have children (human beings). How would their children feel to be likened to a poodle? Haha. Crazy.
The uncertainty in my work-life is becoming more and more apparent. Most of my seniors and bosses are either leaving or have been transferred to another department. I am applying for other jobs but I don't even know what exactly I should do. I guess we would never know what we should do in life until we try it.

My Mom: "just think of what industry you want to go into. Don't waste another year in the wrong industry just to find out that it's not the one you want".

My Dad: "just grab anything that comes along. You can't plan your future. If something else comes along later on that you feel you like more, go for it. Get as much experience in as many different fields as you can".

Me: "pssfgkrjeklrtjtrkttr... blurrrbbbbbakjsdksahdjsa yabadabedoooo!"

"Sometimes the wrong train can take us to the right place" -Paulo Coelho

another weekend over

2010-03-28T20:03:00.002+08:00

*Blink* and there goes another weekend.
Went to Kakak Julie's house today. Aunty Leha is finally here in KL for good and she cooked laksa Sarawak for us. mmm.. Nadia was there too but Girl was busy so she couldn't make it. Wish I could spend more time with my cousins. They make me feel more at home. Especially when we talk of the days when we used to play together at my late Grandfather's house. Maybe I should arrange for an outing of the cousins. hmm..
One of my uncles (Nadia's dad) had a heart attack and was admitted to the ICU yesterday. He's now stable. Prayers for him. I hope he stops smoking.. and drinking.
Met Miss Elizabeth at KTM Serdang yesterday to collect my kek lapis. She's going to Penang for Cheng Beng (however it's spelled). So fun to be travelling with family.
Had a great chat with a dear friend. Really made me feel so much better. Sometimes loneliness is a bitch. Especially when you're not exactly having the best of days.
Hmm.. Work has been ok. RHB Islamic is in the midst of huge internal restructuring. My department is going to be closed down. I don't know what's going to happen next. If all goes well, I might be moving to another bank. But if that doesn't happen, good too. Coz then I can look for another job. Not in the banking industry obviously. Ahah.
My phone has been barred since yesterday. Hmph. Not that it's such a huge discomfort to me but now I know how much I actually depend on it. My dad, who usually texts me, called me a few times today because he knew I couldn't reply his text messages. Aww.. so sweet..
I feel so drained tonight.
Do I deserve this?

"Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it" - read this on twitter. I like.

run run run run away

2010-03-15T19:49:00.002+08:00

Went for a nice long jog in the sunset. While listening to my here-there-everywhere playlist with volume turned up full-blast straight into my ear. Was hoping to get rid of this serabut-ness in my head. I don't know why I am so stressed over nothing sometimes.
Sometimes my own inadequacy makes me annoyed/disappointed/sad. I try to blame everything else around me. Except myself. But it's so hard to accept that I am the one who needs to be fixed. hmm.
I am my own happiness. But what happens when even I can't make myself happy?
Ahh enough with all this preoccupation with the small insignificant topic of 'me, myself, and I'. Makes me all the more annoyed.
Ok ok let's think of making money. Isn't that supposed to make us happy? No? How bout food? No? Huwwaaaaaaaaaa.... heyyllppp...

and they live happily ever after.... not.

2010-03-12T19:45:00.003+08:00

"husband akak tak call dah sepuluh hari"
"oh.. ye ke.. nape..?"
"akak pon tak tau, mona"
"oh.. dia kat mane?"
"akak pon tak tau dia kat mana"
"oh....... "

it sucks to hear these kind of things sometimes. just two days ago, another friend who had trouble with the husband was telling me "those fairy tales are all lies. they don't live happily ever after"

of course, i know for a fact that it's not gonna be all sunshine. but it'd be nice not to hear about the problems. hmm.. or maybe i'm the one who's selectively focusing on the un-fairytale part of it. i wonder why. heh.

a little escape

2010-03-10T19:39:00.004+08:00

Spent last weekend really well. Felt so productive. Even more productive than a whole week's worth of work in the office. Ahah.

Friday night was spent with friends til the wee hours of the morn. Ahhh.. nothing beats making stupid jokes and laughing away with friends. Was worried I would not be able to wake up early but I did the next morning!
On Saturday, I painted my room! *eyes shining with pride* Of course I did it with the help of my friends here - Diba, Hatta, and Hafiz. We were all sweating like pigs in the room but it was fun. Diba bought a bucket of KFC chicken for lunch and we had lots of carbonated drinks. It was superb!
Sunday was an adventure!! Woke up in the morning and went to Pudu. Walked around til I was drenched in sweat, looking for the stop where the bus to Kuala Selangor leaves. Finally found it and waited for around an hour for the bus. The trip which would normally take two hours became 3 hours when we were held up on the highway by a roadblock to let the bicycles for Le Tour De Langkawi pass by. Urgh. Fell asleep with my mouth open in the bus coz I was so sleepy and the bus was just stuck there doing nothing before the block was lifted. Lucky the cyclers took like just 10 minutes to pass.
Arrived in Kuala Selangor and Mr. Suparman picked me up and headed straight for his house in Tanjong Karang where lunch was already waiting on the table. Fantastic!

I ended up buying furniture, groceries, and more paint there. ahahah.. Oh and we played Bingo at a Fun Fair in K.Sel and won on both rounds! The other players were envious (glaring at us) coz they had been playing so many rounds and never got to win. We won on our first and second try. Hihihi..

post-kuching blues

2010-03-02T21:35:00.003+08:00

Trip to Kuching was awesome! Was absolutely tired when I got back here but was totally worth it. Had BBQ by the river with besties, helped Mummy out at Scoops, Indian food with Papa and Dedek, and karaoke-ed with besties. Perfect!
Work is becoming more and more direction-less now that the product / department that I am in is about to be scrapped. Or so the word goes around. Does not make for a conducive work environment.
Was cleaning my room and unpacking some stuff I brought back from Kuching. Among them are my old diaries. It's annoying to read about the foolish things you've done in the past. Urgh.
Was going for lunch at the office yesterday when I saw the psycho from Miri. My heart almost stopped. Of all the places. Damn. Good thing he didn't see me. My god I hope I don't bump into him or something. What was he doing there anyway. *paranoid thoughts running through head*

One of these days you'll be
Under the covers you'll be
Under the table and you'll realize
That all of your days are numbered
All of them one to one hundred
All of them millions
All of them trillions
So what are you gonna do with them all?
You can not trade them in for more, no no...

Take every moment, you know that you own them
It's all you can do
Use what's been given to you...

All of the moments you didn't notice
Gone in the blink of an eye
And all of the feelings you can't help feeling
No matter how you try...

Live like you're dying and never stop trying
It's all you can do
Use what's been given to you

Lenka

monday monday

2010-01-25T19:16:00.002+08:00

Sunday was great! Went grocery shopping and bought healthy stuff. Except for the custard cream biscuits. Just couldn't help myself. Hehe. I read this article about the foods that are good for my blood type. Lo and behold I'm supposed to be vegetarian! ahaha.. no wonder I've never really liked meat much. Red meat tho. But being vegetarian means no chicken and fish too! Waaa.. And the article goes on about the types of vegetables, fruits, nuts, beans, seafood, etc, that are good for me. Apparently not all vegetables are good for Blood Type A people. And yea there are some types of seafood which are good for us, so that's bearable for me. Hihi.
Went for a quick 10-song karaoke after that. Ahaha.. that was while waiting for movie to start. Watched Legion, the movie about angels and the apocalypse. Must say that it was quite disappointing. Was expecting more. Oh well.
Today had training in Bangi. Went after lunch, skipped the morning session. Coz was too lazy to wake up in the morning. Ahahaha.. and Mr. Suparman was here so he sent me there. Most of the time in the classroom was spent chit-chatting with fellow groupmates because the trainer likes to spend a lot of time on one group. Nice and relaxing though. Hihi..
Sometimes fights between friends/couples/family members are necessary to gain new insights on the relationship. Just remember to apologise and accept apologies. Don't walk away, it will only leave things hanging. Always keep in mind: if your partner/friend/family member was to leave tomorrow and never come back, would you regret not saying sorry? Don't take loved ones for granted. No matter how your ego hurts by saying sorry and making up. Because once they're gone, you will never forgive yourself. And that will destroy you.
Mummy had a minor accident yesterday. She hit a curb and hurt her arms and knees. But nothing serious because she had her seat belt on (Yes, seat belts do help so buckle up people). Awww.. poor mami.. The one thing that I remember when we spoke on the phone 2 days ago was "heartbroken". =( makes me sad..

good sailing ahead

2010-01-18T19:01:00.003+08:00

Mmm... feels good to be blogging in the comfort of one own's space. heee.. yupp.. Finally got the broadband i've been contemplating for months. Decided that Celcom had the best package even though Amir kept saying "Digi. Always the smarter choice". Ahaha.
Cut my hair today! =)
Went to see a customer, which I must add turned out pretty good too. She wanted to open a current account so I went to see her to collect her form and the cheque. Turns out, she wants to do an FD as well. Whoopedoo. heheh.. So after seeing her, I didn't go back to the office coz that would be all the way back to KL and I was in Damansara. So I went back to Bangsar straight away. That leaves ample time for me to get the haircut I've been delaying at the new place I've been eyeing, strategically situated in LRT Bangsar. Heee.. They just opened and they had promotions, so I got a free shampoo too! Great day huh!
Outing with Amir and Tasha yesterday was good. Laughed so much.
There are times when you will say negative things about a friend. And those things are usually true. Everybody has their plus and minuses. You may not like those traits in your friend. But you will still love him/her for whoever she/he is. That's how it goes.
Ok goodnite beautiful people.

living a perpetual daydream

2010-01-05T09:55:00.000+08:00

I have got to get one of those broadband thingies. Life without the net feels disconnected. But I do get lots of 'me time' though. Maybe a little too much. Haha.

I slept at 8.30pm last night. My god. Even my dad sleeps later than that I think. Sheesh. Slept with my journal in one hand and a pen in the other. Woke up at 12.30am thinking it was already morning and felt so damn good knowing I had another 6 whole hours to sleep in. Ahah.

Too much thinking is a waste of time. Yet it is done continuously. I need to practise the Power of Now.

Current pleasure in life: crackers with honey, dunked in warm milk. Mmmm..

so it's 2010

2009-12-31T16:22:00.000+08:00

So what's the big hoo haa about the new year. People make new year's resolution. The party-goers celebrate til the wee hours of the morning and somewhere between hiccups and drunken slurs, they vow to stop drinking for the new year. Heh. Some resolve to exercise regularly, only to be beaten down by self indiscipline. Others refuse to make any sort of commitments, preferring to 'see how things go'.

Me? I always make new year's resolution. But of course, not all of them come true. More because of my lack of self discipline and my tendency to lose interest and motivation. Not to mention my ability to get easily side-tracked by new ideas and possibilities. oooooo...

This year, I have had a few personal achievements come true. Of course, the ones not fulfilled outweigh the fulfilled ones. Haha. But at least something right? =P

Tonight, a friend invited me to her house for a BBQ session with a few other friends. I'm still considering the offer. A part of me just wants to stay at home and read a book. And maybe do some goal setting for the new year. Another part of me says maybe I should just go and try to have some fun with these people. Dunno. I just don't feel like celebrating with them. Hmm. *I can hear a voice saying "follow your heart, Mona"*

I read my horoscope and chinese 2010 predictions. Most say that there will be a big change in my career during the first half of the year. Hmmm... Sounds interesting. And towards the end of the year, they say I might have more financial commitments. Hmm.. sounds even MORE interesting. Hehe. Wonder what those financial commitments are.

I miss people back in Kuching. sigh. Happy new year everybody.

kuchingggzzzz

2009-12-25T12:17:00.003+08:00

Back home! Full of stuff as ever. More stuff if I may add.
Me: yarabi berdebu2 cam apa lantai ni ha. tengok tepi2 ni nampak ha debu2 ni.
Papa: aihh baru bulan lepas papa sapu.

Ahahahah... bulan lepas??? well to him it's an improvement 'cos normally it's 6 months. SIX MONTHS!
So now we wear house slippers so we won't feel the dust. That's my dad's way of ignoring the problem. ahahah.
And as predicted, I found chocolate in the fridge. There's always chocolate in the fridge. Always. Never fails.

Random thought: i don't agree with some of my past decisions and i don't condone some actions i have performed. but i am grateful for the lessons i have learned. for the person i am today is a result of the person i used to be. and i accept that. do you?

Self Discovery 101

2009-12-21T16:21:00.000+08:00

When down, sleep til 4pm in the afternoon and then go for a jog.

Thoughts of self ridicule, self pity, insecurity, and negativity can be very crippling. Things that help: words of encouragement, a good listener (someone who doesn't try to relate to their own life/problems everytime you say something about your life/problems), white chocolate (only temporarily though), a good long sleep, house-cleaning (sometimes, actually rarely ahaha) or physical activities (the heavier the better..oooyeahh).

Having high tolerance for different types of people makes one easy to be friends with. However, it could also induce envy and subsequently bad-mouthing by so-called friends. Hmph.

Heights make me sweat on the palms of my hands and soles of my feet.

Daydreaming can be a pretty time-consuming activity. Sadly it doesn't really take you anywhere. But isn't it the greatest escape.

Oh talking about good listeners, here are a list of habits BAD listeners tend to exhibit (in my experience):
1. Eyes glaze up when you start talking about yourself/problems/life issues.
2. Tries to relate anything you say to his/her life.
3. Gives short and dead-end answers to your long-winded explanations/expressions e.g. "Oh I'm sure things will work out". Sure. That helps. *Snort*
4. Has an obvious fascination with anything that revolves around his/her life.

just a-walkin' in the rain.. da dee da dee da..

2009-12-15T20:06:00.003+08:00

Wow. Been so long since I got rained on. Like seriously got rained on. I was drenched. Didn't expect the rain to be so heavy when I got on the bus. But then the lightning and thunder told me I was probably wrong. Duhh.. ahah.. But it felt good tho. I remember when I was a kid, my sis, my cuz, and I used to play in the rain in front of my house. The rain was heavy like crazy and we would run into it and then run back into the car porch. And we had our towels ready in the porch. We'd repeat the act and had so much fun. I wonder why playing in the rain gives kids so much joy.

The house owner is at it again. She's burning this incense/coal thingy that smells a bit like kemenyan. Erk. She said she likes the smell. Yea, well you ain't the only one livin' in this house lady, and that smell ain't Famous Amos.

I think people have the tendency to tell me their problems when they meet me. Especially girls. Hmm. Do I look like a sponge? heh. I don't mind actually, it's just that I'm kinda bad at being all comforting and feely. I'd give my practical suggestion and that's it. And I'd feel like I'm being too cold sometimes. Oh well.

Had lunch with a few of friends I knew from Perth. Miss them. Ate so much! Damn. They brought me to this chinese eating place near KLCC and it was good! Now I know where to get lunch or breakfast if I feel like having chinese food.

withdrawal symptoms

2009-12-13T23:05:00.004+08:00

Withdrawal symptoms; abnormal physical or psychological features that follow the abrupt discontinuation of a drug that has the capability of producing physical dependence (medterms.com)

I think it doesn't have to be just drugs. Sometimes you get so used to someone, or something, or a type of food (ehem... like white chocolate), or doing things a certain way, or anything that you've just gotten so used to. And trust me, getting used to something doesn't take long. You can spend 3 days with someone and then the person leaves and you feel lost all of a sudden. Like your world turned silent abruptly.
I hate the aftermath of goodbyes. When family or friends come and visit, and they'll be with me for like 5 days or more. And then they leave. Oh the agony.
Yea it's nice to have your room to yourself again. But I'd rather be slightly serabut over the crowdedness of my room then come back to it all empty. Especially the 3 or 4 days after they have left. It just feels so lonely.
After that I guess I get used to it and I return to my normal life routine.

yet another lazy sunday

2009-12-06T16:44:00.002+08:00

For everyday to be a lazy Sunday would make lazy Sundays lose its magic. But wouldn't it be heaven. Sigh.
Went for brunch with cousins and family. Omigod small boys are so full with energy. They just practically run, jump, skip, and slide all over the place. A lady customer at Pappa Rich (where we had brunch) looked at our table and shook her head, knowing I was looking at her. She purposely did that to show her annoyance at the little boys who were making quite a racket there. But hey it's not a fine-dining restaurant. I mean I wish I could shush the boys but you try it and see if it works. Harapan.
I remember a friend once told me he used to be so quiet when he was little that the parents brought him to a speech therapist (or something) to see if he's ok. Hehe. Turns out he was just the quiet type. Aww.. haha..
Came back feeling all full and still sleepy from the morning's early wake-up. And the fact that my sis was already sleeping within minutes of us reaching home didn't help much either. Tried to distract myself with the PC but the net was having its own lazy Sunday. So I lied down and played Twinbee and fell asleep.
Last night had Italian food with Mr. Suparman. Loved it! The mushrooms in the ceasar salad was so juicy. And the lamb, so tender. Mmmm.. But alas, Mr. Suparman had to jet back to his suparman home because Suparman Ma'am said "don't come back so late now". Hehe. Come and save me, Suparman!! =P
Now the sis and I are still wondering what to do. But staying at home and just lazing around is not so bad. Heee.. Maybe we'll go out later tonight.
Tomorrow is my appoinment with the head of treasury of RHB. A Datin. Going to propose our product for her personal banking needs. Erk. Nervous. What do I wear??!! Agony!

extended daydreams

2009-11-28T18:49:00.002+08:00

Today was spent in my room playing Cafe World on FB and lying on the bed daydreaming about the day when I'm finally going to make some sales on my job. Sigh. The hot stuffy weather didn't help much. Fell into a feverish nap and woke up sweating and feeling lousier.
The sister is on the way here now. Arrived from Kuching this evening. Going to be here for 2 weeks. Yay someone to play games with ahaha..
A bit worried about my lack of performance on my job. Blargghh.. the more I think of it the worse I feel. **starts chanting "things will work out" over and over again**
Haven't had white chocolate in ages. GASP!! I just realised I forgot to ask Suparman to get 'em for me from Perth!!! Gahhhhh!! Oh Noy!
I miss some old close friends of mine. Sometimes I feel like talking to them. "Hello?" Sigh.
I wish I could have a super massive burp right now and get rid of this uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. BURRRRPPPPPPPPPP!!!

update update update!

2009-11-26T19:44:00.002+08:00

phewwwhhh been so long! hehe.. So much has happened since. Right now, I'm just sitting here on my kiddies chair and table set (the house owner couldn't give it to their grandchildren so I took it as my "study desk"). Haven't been able to go online since I moved in. Only brief unstable moments which did not give me enough time to blog. Lucky a friend was kind enough to lend me this broadband thingy. Whoopeedoo.
Went down with food poisoning past 2 days and was practically bedridden. Couldn't even get up to eat. When it hits me, it hits me bad. But was forced to go to the office yesterday coz my boss wanted me to settle something 'urgent'. Even the doctor asked "was it life threatening? or was your company going to collapse?" I said "no" to which he replied "then it isn't urgent". And he went on to counsel me on the need to be fair to oneself and not to allow people to treat you however they like. Good doctor, huh?
Made so many new friends! I love getting to know people and finding out what they're really like. Sometimes, things may be quite different from what you think they are. uhuh.
Best weekend was when I went on a fishing day-trip with Diba, Hatta, and Hafiz. It was just so spontaneous. Was watching football with them on saturday night and then suddenly Hatta said he didn't know what to do the next day. And he said "wouldn't it be great if we could go fishing?!". And I said "so let's!!" hehee.. First it was just Hatta and I, but then Hafiz said ok and then Diba also joined. I just love sponataneity. And I love hanging out in small groups. Makes all the difference.
Ok toodles! Going out for dinner.. hehe.. now that I'm no longer bedridden.....Fooooodddddd!!

puck opp

2009-10-06T14:22:00.005+08:00

I can't wait to be fully functional in this job. Right now I'm just hovering here and there and wondering if people think I'm this useless bespectacled girl with the baggy work shirts. Hmm..
The perks are, I get to do non-work related stuff like daydream about my future wealth, internet browsing, and have long lunch breaks.. and still get paid. Heh.
My room is super duper wuper stuffy. Oh man. It's like a mild sauna. Well it's not THAT bad but it is still uncomfortable. Imagine being in a room with no windows. The room used to have windows but because the owner extended his house, that window now opens into another room. Now why would I want to open my window and stare at the other tenant. And the window has been boarded up anyway.
I bought an air cooler unit. Hoping that my room would be transformed into a fantastically cool and wonderful chill out space. Hmph. Hardly. It seems to be making things worse. I guess because it uses an evaporative system to cool the air, so the air in my room gets extra damp. Plus the lack of air circulation as it is. Not good. Not good at all.
BUT fret not. There is good news of which the owner imparted upon my eager ears yesterday after hearing my complaints about the stuffy cube. The girl in the room next to mine is moving out. She's going back to Thailand, apparently. And the owner was suddenly enlightened with the idea that I could move into that room! He suddenly grins, and turns to his wife with a look as if he got the most brilliant idea that could give them millions of dollars. Well he likes to exaggerate. And the wife just stares at him with this puzzled look and most probably thinking "now what crazy idea has my husband got in that easily-excitable brain of his?". Not wanting to spoil the moment, he turns to me, and proposes his cosmically grand idea. Zippadeedoodahhh for Mr. John! I haven't said yes but I think he is so convinced that his idea is superbly irresistable, he's already set his mind that I'm moving in end of this month. Haha. Oh well. The room has better ventilation.
Ohh ahahaha.. I just remembered how Mr. John and Ms. Gina were telling me to be careful about snatch thieves and robbers. (Ms. Gina is Filipino, by the way)

Ms. Gina: yeaaa.. he take your money and he puck opp!!!! and you can't do anything!!

ahahahahahaha.... so cute.. puck opp!!
I feel like eating lots and lots of tempoyak with rice... mmmmmmmmm...... gawwwdddd...

finally connected

2009-10-02T09:30:00.002+08:00

And thus starts my life as a working woman. Heh. So this is how it feels like huh.
First day was a concoction of absolute shyness, rusa-masuk-kampungness, and not knowing what to do. Arrived at the office 2 freaking hours before work starts and had breakfast at the cafeteria. Lucky it was open la. Haih.
Read the newspaper, talked to people, read some reading material they gave me, and nodding off to sleep every few minutes because the Nasi Lemak I had for breakfast was still digesting.
That was at the HQ. I must say I've never seen so many malays in one office before. Ahahaha.. EVERYbody was malay okay.
Now I'm attached here at the branch. Real work starts here. This is where I'll have to meet people, make calls to set up appointments, and do the paper work.
So... housing loan, anybody? =)
Some sayings/quotations/funny slip-ups which caught my attention during my first week of work (to be read with typical malay accent):
- "yalah... that way we can shoot two birds with one stone la"
- "okay Mr. So-and-so.. the person to contact is Mr. Fahimi...this is how you spell his name.. F for Ferancis.. ehh F for France...hehe......."
- "if you're driving and you keep looking behind your vehicle, you're bound to hit the car in front of you. So focus more on what's in front of you. Whatever happens behind you doesn't matter as much"

human nature

2009-09-18T14:49:00.003+08:00

Almost all my friends are already working. I'm always reading on their status' how they're waiting for weekends and holidays. Makes me feel like waiting for the weekend and taking a holiday, even if I'm not even working yet. ahaha..
Things will get better when...
I move into my new room.
I start my new job.
I have more money.
I have my own house.
I have my own transport.
Always waiting for something to happen to feel better. Why can't we just be happy now? And make things happen now? Human nature. The grass is always greener on the other side.
I miss talking to old friends with whom I've somehow grown apart from. Sigh. Read some old chat conversations. Good times.
Gloomy day today. Maxis bill is not making me feel any better. I feel like sleeping. Or stuffing myself with white chocolate. Hmph.
Aunty Lehot was telling me of an aunt back in Kuching who's been diagnosed with diabetes. Scared the hell out of me. Our family has a history of diabetes. And I eat too much sweet stuff. Hmm.. I need to reduce reduce reduce. But it's Raya! How la?
Haih.

cake-making frenzy

2009-09-17T13:42:00.005+08:00

At Kakak Julie's house now. Made Kuih Lumut yesterday. Very green and very sweet. Oh the sin of Sarawak cakes.
[total yummehhnesss]
Next up is Kuih Lapis. Actually Aunty Leha finished baking it this morning while I was snoring away. She didn't even wait for me! Hmph. I wanted to see how it's done! eeeee..
Today, Aunty Lehot is making Laksa Sarawak! Ooh yeah! Finally. The cure to my home-sickness. Ahaha.. At least temporarily.
Mummy texted me today

Mummy: "Na year of birth 84 ke?"
Me: "85 lah.."
Mummy: "Hehe sory" [sic]

Sheeeshhh..

raya is coming to town

2009-09-16T11:06:00.002+08:00

It's going to be Raya soon. Not going back to Kuching. Thanks to RHB and their delays. But there are always blessings behind unfortunate events. That's what I believe. Still, would have been great to be home for Raya. Not quite in the mood to celebrate Raya this year. It just seems less festive for the Ahmad family. No family gatherings. Even if I was in Kuching, some of my aunties have gone elsewhere for Raya/holiday. Bummer. And the fact that I couldn't make cookies, entertain friends at home, and go visiting in Kuching doesn't help either. I feel like staying in my room for 2 whole days and let Raya pass by without me. Hmph.
But yesterday my Aunt Leha arrived from Kuching. She is celebrating her Raya here with her children. Had buka puasa with them last night. Felt good to see someone I'm familiar with. Heh. Feeling a bit homesick now I guess. She asked me to sleep over there until Raya so that I can help her make cakes and cookies. Weee.. at least one part of my Raya wish is coming through.
One thing I'm looking forward to though, is visiting Mr. Superman and hanging out with Tasha and friends during Raya. Fun bunch of people they are.
Oh yea, almost forgot. Finally got my offer from RHB. Starting on the 28th of September. Weehoo! Medical check-up was good.

Nurse: Mona, boleh kencing ka?
Me: huh..? ermm.. boleh la..

what was that about?? hahaha..
Had to sit for a test with RHB yesterday. It was a computerised test. Mathematical, verbal, and personality test. I think I failed the mathematical test. Ahaha.. What with all the numbers, charts, percentages... Harrgghh.. and it was timed! Cruelty. So I did what was best. Bang bang bang. Whatever will be, will be. muahahaha..
Weird taxi drivers are creepy. Was on a cab yesterday after my test and the driver was like all weird; driving recklessly, putting his head on the steering wheels, asking weird questions (what would you do if I fell asleep now, he asked me), and making weird noises when I told him where I wanted to go. Not knowing what to do, and having no weapon besides the hand sanitiser in my bag (squeeze 'em into his eyes, you say? hmm..), I made the most stern face I could and talked in the most serious manner possible. And I called up some friends just to let him know I'm not alone in this big bad city. I think I should get a pepper spray. Or better still a hand grenade to leave in the taxi as I get off. KA-BOOOMMM! bye bye weirdo driver. Once again, womenfolk can ride fearlessly on cabs. At least for now. Thanks to Sanitiser Girl. Jeng jeng!
Omigod I just saw Malcolm's FB status talking about being naked in front of people in Korea. Noooo... we should report this. He is so weird man. He spelt naked in block letters. Jeezzzz..
Hepppppppp...

kuda hitam aduhh..

2009-09-14T16:04:00.003+08:00

So tired of waiting and hoping and waiting and depending on people and waiting some more and being immobilised. Sigh.
Kuda hitam aduhh.. kuda hitam
tak dihitung namun berbahaya
lari tenang aduh.. pelan-pelan
tau-tau bisa nyampai keluan

Kalaulah naik kuda hitam
Lari kencang nafas pun panjang
Kalaulah punya pacar hitam
Walau hari panas senyum senang
I don't get the part "kalaulah punya pacar hitam, walau hari panas senyum senang". Whaa? If you have a dark partner, you'll be happy even when the weather is hot? Am I missing something here? Hmmm..
Anyway, RHB called this morning. They offered me the job. Finally! I was about to give up on them. What with all the delays. Hmph. But I'd have to do a medical check-up first. No problem. Clean as a whistle am I. =D
Arrrrrgggghhh...gemmmmeeeeouttttaaaherrrre!

Life of Bum

2009-09-11T11:32:00.003+08:00

I try to wake up as late as I can so I don't have to wait too long for buka. ahah. How horrible.
Ok so I'm going to put my daily activities here in Bukit Bandaraya, Seksyen U11 Shah Alam. Just to give you guys an idea of my life here. Besides, I have nothing better to do now. And I feel like it. And it's my blog bah. Up to me la! Why, you got a problem with it ah? Don't read la! Lalu emo. hehe. Ok ok here goes:
Boy wakes me up for sahur at 5:30am. I usually just nibble some biscuits or have cereals with soy milk. Yes I'm obsessed with high-calcium, low-sugar soy milk. At least I'm being healthy in that section. Better than nothing. Ahah.

After sahur I go back to sleep. Duh. Sometimes I get really bad stomach-aches and it makes me curl up into a ball and I can't sleep. But after a satisfying session in the echo-room, I sleep in all happiness =)

I wake up around noon (the later the better, if I can help it), unless Boy barges into the room and insists I wake up for God knows what. Hish.

I laze around on the bed, where I put my books, laptop, everything lah. It is my 'hang-out' place ok. But I'm beginning to develop back-aches from all this crouching in front of the laptop.

After a few hours of facebooking, blogging, chatting with Kekanda Scarface, reading, and thinking about food, I finally decide that it's the right time to shower. So I shower. Boom-ka-cha-boom-ka-cha-boom. (that's the sound effect for people showering ok. go read Lat).

Nearer to buka puasa time, I either go out with Boy and family to tapau food or wait for friends to pick me up. *I secretly wait for people to ask me out for buka puasa because it is damn depressing here and I don't have a car so I can't just drive off into oblivion and never come back and and TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!! ok enough*

After buka puasa, I sit around in the living room. Watch some tv or play with the kids or just watch them play/fight/get scolded/fall off their mini bikes and horses or something. And then I feel like maybe I should go upstairs and not menyemak among the family. So I go up la.

And then I repeat the laze-on-bed activities. Sometimes I feel like eating some more in the middle of the night but the family sleeps in the living room so if I go down it will wake them up. So I just distract myself. Poor me. No food. Ahah. NOT. You pig! Stop eating!

After that I sleep la. What else wanna do deyyy. Yanadeyyy!! Ammaaa!! ok ok I continue. Next day, repeat the steps above. Ok finish.
So now it's time for me to boom-ka-cha-boom-ka-cha-boom.

lapar mata

2009-09-09T14:13:00.002+08:00

'tis the time of year when discipline, self-restraint, and moderation should be foremost in our minds, attitudes, and behaviors. It is to teach us the meaning of hardship and self-control in the face of worldly temptations.
But then comes the buffet mania. And all hell breaks lose. Plates are filled to overflowing. Every single thing on display is promptly scooped, scraped, and grabbed. Alas, the table has run out of space for any more food-filled plates. In around 20 minutes, the stomach is a sack of food concoction. Seafood, red meats, pasta, cakes, rice, salads, drinks, and many more. Finally when the appetite has been assured that there is nothing there on the buffet line that has not been tried, or when the stomach simply could not stretch any further, the body leans back in a bloated, hard-to-breath state of being. Oh and don't forget the after-dinner coffee. Nevermind the piles of leftovers on the table. It's buffet bah. We paid for it leh!
What a shame people can be such wasteful creatures.
Wastage during Ramadhan is, I think, more common than any other month. Caused primarily by the lapar mata phenomenon. Where everything you see seems highly appetising and it just feels like you'll be able to gobble down all of them. You are fasting and have not eaten the whole day, after all. So you must be freaking hungry, right? Wrong. When you fast, your stomach shrinks. You can't eat as much as what your appetite may be telling you while you wander around the Ramadhan bazaar. Looking at the buah melaka, otak-otak, ayam golek, nasi kerabu, and tauhu sumbat, you just want to eat them all!
Let's practice a bit of restraint, shall we? And maybe we'll begin to understand the whole meaning to the month of Ramadhan.
Ok no more buffets for me =P

time is a wasting

2009-09-07T16:26:00.002+08:00

All this waiting is driving me insane. Making me anxious.
Can't wait to move out of here. Just don't feel comfortable being in the private space of their family. And sometimes I get this really really faint feeling that my presence is not welcomed. hmm.. Maybe it's just me.
Hey. Ikan keli is not so bad after all. Nearly had a piece of fish bone wedged in my throat though. Erk.
How sad. Long, engaging conversations turn to short, bark-like sentences. Loving glances turn to eye-avoidance. Longings for together-time turn to excuses to escape.
No, it's not supposed to be that way. No matter how common it is in this age and time.
Aunty, ni apa? Bag apa? Untuk apa? Kenapa? *repeat same set of questions for almost every single thing in this room* say hi to Adam, 4 years old.
It's been a while since I had white chocolate. Or any chocolate for that matter.
My face seems to be getting better. No more breakouts.
Hmmm.. no chocolate.. face better... hmm.. face better.. no chocolate... Nope. Not related.
Hepppp!

lama lagi ke buka?

2009-09-05T15:55:00.003+08:00

Am thinking of food. Ahah. Pointless really 'coz it just makes you hungrier. But it's fun. =D

Went room hunting yesterday. Finally got a confirmed decision from RHB, albeit not a written one. But am pretty confident about it. They're going to post me at the RHB Bank in Bangsar. And thus began the quest for the perfect room in Bangsar. Met different types of house owners.

The super strict one, who wouldn't allow non-vegetarian food in the house (because they have their shrine/temple in a small room in the house). She glared at me and asked "are you sure you're ok with it? you know how malays can't live without their nasi goreng with ikan bilis". I just stared at her. Seems like she made up her mind that I wouldn't be able to take the non-vegetarian rule in the house. Finally she said "you know, there are a lot of advertisements for rooms to let at TMC (a nearby shopping area)". That confirmed it. She didn't want me. Ahaha.. Vice versa yo!

The couldn't care less if I took the room or not. She didn't allow cooking and laundry in the house... "occassional cooking is ok la..but if everyone wants to cook haa..difficult la". Okayyy.. and "the washing machine is mine so only I can use it". I get it. ahahah.. Next!

The somewhat weird/dodgy one. She walked us through the house, which I may comment looked like it wasn't swept and mopped for months. And the room I wanted to rent was next to a guy's room, with just window panes to separate us! Aghast! "so do you come and inspect the house often?" and she replied, while picking up bits of rubbish off the floor "yes I come over often". Yea rite. Fail!

The friendly and easy-going housemates. She lead us through a dark and wet alley leading to her block. My friend said it was like a scene from a Hong Kong gangster movie. The apartment itself was not bad actually, being clean and simple. Apart from the fact that there was no furniture in the living room... "we hardly sit around here so there's no need for furniture". Hmm.. ok. And the absence of a fridge. And my would-be room faced the inner part of the building and smelt like the neighbour's dinner because all the kitchens faced the same way. Right. "oh and both of us smoke in our rooms so I hope you're not allergic to smoke or anything". ahhh.. ic... Rejected!

The overly excited and enthusiastic house-owner, who gave the wrong phone number on the advertisement... ahaha.. He gave his phone number and his wife's. But the wife's one was wrong. So I ended up with "oh sorry eh..salah nombor lah". Chet! Lucky he got his one right. The moment I stepped into the house (which had a HUGE cross on the wall opposite the entrance), I had a really good feeling. It was very homey. And the two dogs outside the house, Jack and Fatty, reminded me of Pops and Roger. Much smaller versions of course. The wife greeted me very warmly. She was Filipino and regularly confused the he's and she's in her sentences.. "yeaa he come back very late you know..but she just go in her room and keep quiet la". ahaha. She was very pleasant and accomodating.. "yeaaaa you can cook.. I cook too!" "yeaaa.. I will teach you how to use the washing machine ok?"..hahah.. so cute! Reminds me of Maritess. Weeee.... I have finally found a room!

Going to work would be a bit tricky as I would either have to walk 20 minutes or catch a bus/taxi. But so far this was the closest I could get to my office. Seems alright to me =)

Now if only I had a scooter.. hmmm... =P hihihihi...

missing kuching already

2009-08-25T13:51:00.004+08:00

It is the warmest and most humid just before the storm. All the low-hanging clouds trapping the heat.
Made Kek Batik yesterday. With the help of Farah. Was a tad too sweet for my liking but scrumptious nonetheless. Papa likes it with his mango and rosella sauce that he made himself. "Macam dessert kat western restaurant selalu tu". Yerrrdehhh...
Packing awaits. Sick of packing and moving around. But what to do. No gains without effort.
Frankie says I need to smile more often. I emailed my bestfriends a few self-awareness questions for them to answer. I answered those questions myself already and I just want to see how different my answers are to theirs. Well to Frankie's, most of them were almost similar except for the smiling one. eheh.. Smile! =D
The funny thing is, Pam says I smile a lot! ahahaaha.. this is what she said: "Friendly.... Smiles always-Has a naturally 'unscary' face". UNSCARY?? hihihihihi... ya mehhhhh..
Been going out with them besties almost every night. Just lepak-ing at Open Air or at McD's. Talking about life, classmates, the glorious Form 6 Years, and laughing away at our jokes (and Beth's lame ones sometimes. ahaha..).
Have yet to enjoy the springy noodle and crunchy beansprouts of Ah Mui's Gu Bak Mee. (I don't really like the beef though.. ehehe.. even if it's supposed to be beef noodle). Bila?? Bila?? Tim kaiiiiii aarrr!!
Miss listening to Rhythms del Mundo..
I want to learn Hokkien.

swee kang awaits

2009-08-21T16:05:00.002+08:00

Phewh it really is humid here. All the more reason for ABCs hihihi..
Meeting up with the Hyper-Man for Swee Kang in a short while. Fasting month begins tomorrow so better take this chance for Swee Kang before I go back to KL.
Found my folder of certificates. In my dad's room. Lucky I had sense enough to look in that mini version of an abandoned library converted into a study and jamming room. I don't know how long it hasn't been tidied. The horror! The whole house is like a tongkang pecah. Ahah. Papa the Hoarder.
Celebrating Beth's birthday with a karaoke session tonight. Weeeee! Gotta get my list of songs ready hey! =P
This morning's dialogue with Papa:

Papa knocks on my door.
Papa: Na, bangun..
Me: Okayyy...
I roll over and go back to sleep.

Half an hour later,
Papa: Na, your breakfast is getting cold!
Me: Mmkaayyyy....
I roll over and snooze again.

Yet another half hour later, 10am,
Papa: Na! Macam mana nak kerja ni bangun pun lambat??
Me: ..........
I wake up and wash up for breakfast.
HAhahhaa..
I am genuinely scared of doing sales in KL. But I shall take it as a challenge. Erk!
Senyum sket tu.. I'm here for you.

back home

2009-08-19T23:26:00.002+08:00

Back in good ol' Kuching.
Found out that my folder full of important certificates is missing. What luck. I just don't get how it could disappear from my room. Will try again tomorrow. Oh the UN-anticipation of cleaning the room. *sneeeeeeeeeze!*
Now that I'm back, feels sad to know I'd have to go again soon. Hmm..
The plan was to work here, start building networks etc, and then probably start a business here. Was a good plan, but it was merely that.
The things I'd do just to make it work..
The binge eating, the sudden bouts of emotional paranoia, the stupid thoughts, the bloatedness. What do these things have in common? Ergh annoying. Go away.
I feel like devouring a whole bar of white chocolate now. Gimme gimme gimme.

here i am

2009-08-13T15:24:00.002+08:00

Ok so it's been ages. ahah. Been wayy too lazy to update. Even more so when I know I have tonnes of things to update. But since I'm here in Starbucks MidValley with nothing better to do, why not right? Right. Besides, if I walk around, I might end up buying something. Hrrrummphh..

So here I am in Kuala Lumpur. Came back about a week ago. Have since completed my Bachelor's Degree in Management and Marketing. About time. I feel like I've been studying for ages. Ok exaggeration but I really can't wait to start working. Oh and start earning.. Hihi..

Went to Sydney for a sports event. Our team (the girls' futsal team) won 1st place!! Not bad hey! =D

Right. Here's the real news. Applied for jobs in JobStreet about 2 weeks before I came back and lo and behold, RHB called me up for an interview. I came back on the 6th, arriving at around 1pm, and the interview was at 4pm. Phewh. Had to change into my formal wear on the plane and got a cab (a freaking expensive one at that! what a RIP OFF!!) from the airport straight to the interview venue. Lugged my huge heavy-ass suitcase to the RHB Islamic headquarters and was there 1 hour early. Almost fell asleep waiting for the interview. But it all paid off, the interview was a success! Although they did offer me to work in Miri (a place I'm ok with but still have a wee bit of reservation about), they also might offer me to work in KL. So I'll just wait and see.

CIMB interviewed me too. But I wouldn't say the interview was a huge success. I would say that I do have a chance, but I wouldn't count on it too much.

Funny how I was aiming for hotels and now I'm doing interviews with banks. Hmm..

Imagine working and living here. Kuala Lumpur. The Big Apple of Malaysia. The traffic jam. The time spent travelling. The crimes. The multitude of human beings.

On the other hand, there's the shopping. The food. The opportunities. The experience!

I miss working in Makan2! waaaa...

of cigarette smoke, movies, and eating out

2009-06-24T18:00:00.003+08:00

I'm still here. The housemates have all gone back. Foolish little creatures they are. hmph. Could have had more roadtrips, cook-ins, and bus adventures. Me so alone!! =(((
Watched The Proposal last night. Was supposed to watch Year One but somehow there was a change of plans. The Proposal was good. Funny and touching, but quite typical I must say. Can't wait to watch Year One though. I think it will be hilarious.
*looks around and wanders what to do next*
*starts to think of food or drinks in the kitchen that can be consumed*
All that's left are the songs we listened to and memories of conversations we had.

i'd rather be a handy-man

2009-06-16T15:23:00.003+08:00

I didn't know you could have a negative balance in your bank account. -_-"
I was accused of plagiarism in my Small Business 200 assignment. Must be my #$%*&^! group-mates. Dammit. Of course I didn't plagiarise...even if I did (unintentionally I'm sure)..I don't care now. I hope I pass this unit. Ergh.
Feel like scratching someone's face now. Preferably my groupmate's face. ohhhh the pleasure...blood...drip drip dripping from my finger nails... muahahahahaa.. wait.. Yuck I'd rather have swine blood on my hands. Maybe I'll use a fork or something. Rrraaahhhhh!!!
Fixing the bathroom tap is therapeutic at least. I think I have a hidden talent for fixing household stuff.. ahahaha.. *I wish*
ckn#liur23y*bdhjsagf(lsifu_sjba%dh f i want out.

point of inflection

2009-06-12T13:22:00.002+08:00

Change is always not easy to deal with. But change I must. So be it.

Ayam Kambing Bag!

is so cold

2009-06-07T15:49:00.002+08:00

Homosexuality was described officially as a mental illness in China until 2001 (BBC News). Gawd.
I feel like eating ayam penyet. and lalapan. and rojak mamak. and and and and gobble gobble nyanyanyanyanghdshghghg!!!
It's Gooood!

materialistic posers amongst us

2009-06-06T15:08:00.009+08:00

Look at all those fancy clothes,
But these could keep us warm just like those.
And what about your soul? Is it cold?
Is it straight from the mold, and ready to be sold?

And cars and phones and diamond rings,
Bling, bling, because those are only removable things.
And what about your mind? Does it shine?
Are there things that concern you, more than your time?

Look at you, out to make a deal.
You try to be appealing, but you lose your appeal.
And what about those shoes you’re in today?
They’ll do no good, on the bridges you burnt along the way.

(Jack Johnson)

David Carradine found dead

2009-06-05T01:24:00.004+08:00

News headline: Kung Fu star Carradine found dead.

Kill Bill and Kung Fu star David Carradine has been found dead in a Bangkok hotel room on Thursday. Thai police told the BBC the 72-year-old was found naked by a hotel maid in a wardrobe with a cord around his neck and other parts of his body. The US star was in Thailand filming his latest film, Stretch, according to his personal manager Chuck Binder. A US embassy official confirmed the actor's death, but added that the cause of death had not yet been established.

(BBC News)

I remember the days when my dad, my sister and I used to watch the Kung Fu series. My dad especially liked it. David Carradine played Kwai Chang Caine in the series. We used to say it in a funny way. Hehe. I don't quite remember what the series was about. But I do remember we used to enjoy it. Sort of a family time for us. Sad that he died that way. Hmm..

Nite nite.

sleepy thoughts

2009-06-02T21:32:00.002+08:00

I'm too used to reading things off the computer. I was reading my International Management text book in front of my laptop, with my hand on the mouse (my hands fiddle when I read). Instead of turning the page, I scrolled down on the mouse. Haih.
Everytime someone cooks in the house (either the sister or I), my attention automatically goes to my room door to make sure it is shut. I have a sudden compulsive need to keep my room from smelling like food. Random. I know.
Ok I'm sleepy. Or it seems. Better sleep before the sleepiness gives way to nocturnal wide-eyeness.
Tomorrow's plan: wake up, jog, breakfast, study, lunch, study, nap, work, dinner, sleep.
We'll see.
Ahaha.

pierced right through

2009-05-31T21:04:00.003+08:00

spark
fireworks
pizazz
excitement
interest
thrill
rush

nope.
none of those.

ouch

it is now 1:17am

2009-05-28T01:16:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to the Budak Kentot. me want cake yay!

hoping, praying, wishing, and waiting....for my job offer... =)

my life focus now: work, hobbies, and friends. everything else is secondary or non-existent.

how do i know what these signs mean? are they even signs from the powers that be?

i miss reading Paulo Coelho books.

hklscdsnceuytrabcpsoweryzkjndca;sdkfj.. arrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. pooottttt...

my dad has facebook

2009-05-26T17:22:00.002+08:00

gahhhhhh... my dad requested to be my friend on FB!! erk.
turn the music up when voices start to rise.
today i officially completed the last assignment of my Bachelors of Marketing and Management. had the desperate urge to tell someone/anyone about it..but.. hmm..
i do get attention from the wrong kind of people at times. but it is fun tho. Ahah. *evil laugh*
today went on a retail therapy session. was a good session it was. mustard shirt and mustard tank top. and straight cut jeans. oooo... hihi.. yep. good good.
my bestfriend tricked me! teruk betul...
i wish i had butter now. wanna make yoyos. *poof!* *butter appears!* i wish.
go see a doctor! grrrr...

i'll find a way

2009-05-25T11:49:00.004+08:00

Slid out of bed feeling like a sack of moldy tomatoes

ho-hum

2009-05-24T01:39:00.002+08:00

Another uneventful day spent lazing at home doing nothing but eat and bum around all day. Perfect.

Worked at night. Equally uneventful except for that coffee invitation. hmm..

I definitely need to work on my say-'no'-moments. Hrrrummphh!

where did you go..?

"brr..the weather is getting cold huh.. by the way, doesn't that thing get cold?" *pointing to my lip-pierce* ahaha.. funny.. no it doesn't smart ass.

Winter makes the toilet seat cold. Not nice.

estoy feliz

2009-05-23T00:44:00.004+08:00

everybody wants to open you up like Christmas.

I am ecstatic that assignments are all done. Except for the Capstone presentation, which I'm looking forward to. "we're so lucky to have you in our group..this is the best group..and the best presentation" awwww...... love my Capstone group-mates!
Ever noticed how Christian preachers in movies almost always have a Texan/country English slang. hmm...
Let's go to Peru!
Phrase of the week: go with the flow. haih.
The way Antonio Carlos Jobim sings The Girl From Ipanema is sexy. Intense.
I think I'm starting to 'appreciate' horror movies. Maybe. Slightly.
The way I socialise has a flaw somewhere. Maybe I should laugh less. Huh.

early morning panic attacks

2009-05-19T04:31:00.004+08:00

i told you i work best under pressure, i.e. last minute. wahahaa..
finally finished my presentation. it looks good if i do say so myself =D
the only problem now: I AM SO FREAKING SLEEPY MY EYES FEEL LIKE THEY'RE FILLED WITH PUS.
i think i just exceeded the baggage weight limit with my eye-bags. gross.
dilemma: to sleep or not to sleep.
if i sleep, i might not wake up.
if i don't sleep, my mind would not function probably 70% of today.

my sister made the best ever moist chocolate cake. moist, rich and simply melts in your mouth. to die for! it's right next to white chocolate in my list of the best things in life. yummehlicious!

wake up call 7:30am please. atut!

fussy customer

2009-05-17T01:43:00.004+08:00

Fussy Aunty with Scowling Face: How to eat?? So hard and cold??
(while poking the fried chicken and shaking head from side to side vehemently)
Me: Ok, I'll heat it up for you yea?
Fussy Aunty with Scowling Face: No! I don't want you to put it in the microwave. It'll make it all soggy. I want you to fry it again.
(shakes head again)
Me: Ok.

after re-deepfrying the chicken
Me: Here you go. I fried it again for you. *Smiles*
(Customer glares at chicken from side to side. Makes an even worse scowling face and slowly brings plate away without saying anything)

Me, feeling like throwing the hot chicken drumstick into her face. %$@# !!!!! you ungrateful B****!!!!!

dragggggggggg

2009-05-16T01:15:00.005+08:00

Thank goodness for music, work, and sleep. Oh and food. Lots of it. Binge! Binge! Binge!
My mind seems to be far away nowadays. Maybe it's just that time of the year when things just get to you. Oh well.
On a lighter note, I got TWO shifts tomorrow. Thanks to the football match showing tomorrow night. Ahah.
Freo beckons..
Sigh.. Just not my day.. week..month.. semester..
ARRRGGGHHHH!!
help

i can't

2009-05-14T18:09:00.002+08:00

some promises are just too hard to keep

reverse psychology

2009-05-13T03:36:00.001+08:00

okayy.. if you say so..

p/s: I'm still going to be here anyway

losing my marbles

2009-05-12T10:52:00.002+08:00

Reading online news has become sort of a fixation for me. If I go on Facebook I feel guilty. But when I read the news, I can tell myself that general knowledge is as important as completing my assignments. Ahah. So I keep clicking on random news headlines just to keep at it. Some are really weird, like snails having a shorter life-span nowadays. Hmm..
Hi Bye yang tak menjadi. =)
I am not aware of what I want currently. I don't agree with myself sometimes. And I contradict almost everything I say after a few days (or hours) of saying it. What I feel and what I say don't usually run parallel, so excuse me if I change my mind, again. I am not really in the mood of thinking too much (which I have been told I am very much prone to), and thus, would just like to live a simple and less-thinking life, for now. Don't complicate things for me. I might not be able to comprehend, much less recover.
A long road-trip would do me good.
The neighbour's dog is beginning to not just irritate me, but Laila as well. Haha. "eeh.. asuk ya.. mok diinject ya". I'm used to its ceaseless barking by now. It's like a fixed background sound in my life. Kinda like hearing the ceiling fan constantly whirring away. I was telling Laila that when I go back to Kuching, with no barking in the background, I might just feel like there's something missing in my life. Hehe. She suggested that I buy a dog just to bark incessantly. Aahaha..
I want to make Biskut Yoyo.

everyday blues

2009-05-11T11:03:00.002+08:00

It's not just because it's Monday.
Missed my 8:30 am class this morning. Again. The partner in crime did not help. She probably went back to sleep when she heard no wake-up call from me.
Damn. Now I remember that we have just missed the rubbish collection. Adoi..
I slept early because I just couldn't do anything and I thought I can wake up at 3am and do work. But I snoozed til 5am and woke up. Sat in front of the laptop and still couldn't do anything. So I went back to sleep. And missed the aforementioned class.
I have a presentation at 2:30 for Small Business (remember the unit and groupmates from hell? yeah this is the one) which I have not done anything for. I didn't even email them the part that I was supposed to present. I'm so stressed now. Seriously. I don't know what to do.
I don't know if I'm dreaming or what, but while I was sleeping early this morning, like around 2am, I had a funny call. It was from a guy who claimed I ordered Chicken Rice from some place in Northbridge. And he kept saying he was already sending the food to my house. WTH. I could have sworn it sounded like Eugene (a guy in the football team). But I was half-awake so I can't confirm if it was definitely him. Oh well.
I still can't stop listening to the song.

enjoy

2009-05-10T01:24:00.003+08:00

sigh

2009-05-09T03:58:00.002+08:00

I wish there was a place I could go to and just sit on a swing and swing back and forth

points of departure

2009-05-06T23:51:00.005+08:00

Racism. I have just experienced a racist act, aimed at me. An Australian redneck* spat at my sister, Laila, and I from inside his moving truck when we were crossing the road. My sis and I had spit on our faces. Another person's spit on our face!!!! Kimmmmm******.... argghh.. Anyway, I know it's bad to generalise, but it's hard to say nice things about Australians now. Even seeing them on TV created a wave of curses and insults from us. Ahah. I know, we are over-reacting. Over getting spit on our faces. I think our over-reaction is justified. Do they know that this land Australia they call home was stolen from the indigenous people? Do they know that the Asians they resent so much actually contribute to their economy? Do they know that there is no country in the world now with only one race? Multiculturism is the way of life now. Whether they like it or not. Live with it.

*Redneck refers to a person who is stereotypically Caucasian (i.e. white) and is of lower socio-economic status in the United States and Canada. Originally limited to the Southern United States,^[1] and then to Appalachia, ^[2] the term has become widely used throughout North America, and to a lesser extent, Australia.
(Wikipedia)

Love. This will be the first that I will be talking about this subject that gets my thoughts muddled and emotions haywire. I don't like to blog about feelings/emotional/mushy stuff. But I am just perplexed at this thing called Love. What is it actually? How do we know when we're in love? Do we constantly wait for calls/messages/emails from the person we love? Do we think of him/her when we hear love songs? Do we imagine a life with him/her? When he/she hurts us, do we forgive and still want to be with him/her? And can a person stay in love with only one person his whole life? I just think that Love is very subjective; it's kinda useless to be blogging about it. Eesh. Buang masa ku naip jak.

[A picture i did with Paint back in 2007]

Memory triggers. Certain things trigger our memories. Could be good memories we would like to revisit or bad memories we wish we had forgotten about. For me, smells and songs are huge memory triggers. I would sometimes pass someone on the street with a certain perfume scent and it would remind of a certain time in my past where a friend/someone I knew had the same scent. I have this perfume which my Mum used before. Reminds me of the time I used to visit her in Miri when I was younger. Or when she visited us in Kuching. Her smell would be the first thing I missed when she left. I would smell the pillow she used just to get her scent again. And sometimes certain songs remind me of phases in my life when that particular song was popular. Like this song My Hump by Black Eye Peas. Reminds me of the time I was in Miri with Mizah. Hmm.. Miss miss.

honesty is the best policy

2009-05-05T19:00:00.004+08:00

Hung out with Mizah, Amir, and Yas in the city today. Been ages since I spent time with them. Miss them so much.
The group-mates from hell have finally shown some of their displeasure at me. Wow. I sound like I care. NOT.
The grass is always greener on the other side. But maybe because IT IS greener there? Hmm..
I am suddenly curious of the first impression I have on people. Stern? Serious? Aloof? Seem to get that a lot now. And I thought I smile a lot. Hmm.
I wish I was an engineer working with Western Power. just because.
Planning gets me to the place where I did not plan to be at.
I am getting more and more annoyed at my impulsiveness. And it's not like I see it coming. It's spontaneous. Ergh.

spacing out in class

2009-04-29T21:21:00.007+08:00

So I had a replacement class tonight. It's Small Business 200. Not a subject I totally loathe but I just hate it because of the assignment and my group mates. Oh well. As usual, when friends are not around to amuse me in class, my mind wanders to faraway lands. Tonight it didn't wander very far. I was just looking around the class observing the people. And this was what I thought of the different types of people in my class.

The lecturer. Well this particular lecturer is one of my favourites. Big happy fella. Lots of energy, but unfortunately does not have the physical attributes to cope with his over-flowing enthusiasm. Always gasping and running out of breath. Ahah. Reminds me of Friar Tuck in the Robin Hood adventures. Albeit a more boisterous and loud one.

(source: website)

The organised perfectionist. These people tend to be girls (no offense girls. there are guys too out there, just less). The one in my class, in particular, happen to be one of my group mates. She's a mature student (which means she used to work before but decided to go back to uni most probably due to the recession). She would always be the first to put up her hand if the lecturer asked for an opinion. And would usually share more than necessary, so much so that the lecturer has to cut her off. She has all her lecture slides printed out THREE weeks before uni began. She emailed the lecturer THREE weeks before uni to ask what the subject would be like. Talk about enthusiasm. Or kiasu-ism. She would take notes on about almost every single thing possible. The lecturer said "if you wanted notes for your studies, you would go to ______ (name cannot be mentioned)". Being in a group with her is hell, to put it mildly. Oh and did I mention that she would go to other classes in the same subject just to see what that class was doing. Three words: Get A Life.

The Gung-ho High Achiever. These people aim for top marks. They prepare well ahead of class and try to do extra activities to improve their knowledge. The one in my class is a girl in her late teens. She comes to class with a backpack filled to near-bursting point. She would bring her laptop and books and whatever it is these people bring to campus. When asked for ideas, she usually have lots. And run out of writing space before everyone else was half-way through. She would research a lot about things she's working on and would usually come up with very detailed information. Very scary for a person like me who does not like details at all. Haha. Oh and she's in my group too! Fantastic isn't it?? hmph. In our assignment, she and the organised perfectionist would usually meet up a lot (because they have similar classes in other subjects) and come up with ideas for our business. It's not exactly fun when you rock up to a group meeting and feel like you've missed a whole week of discussion because they've been discussing so much behind your back.

The Laid-back High Achiever. These people would usually be males (from my experience). The one in my class is a guy too. They are the ones who aim high, but take on a more relaxed approach to it. They do prepare ahead of class, most of the time, but would not get all worked up if they don't. Although they look like they hardly study, they usually manage high-scores. Stylish and out-going, they make studying look affortless. The one in my class is my group mate, but for another subject that we're also doing together. He would prepare a plan for our assignment (in that other subject) and we were to follow that plan. However, I couldn't finish my part exactly on time, and he was like "oh that's alright. no worries. take your time". Meetings are short and effective. Parts are delegated, next meeting date set, and that's it. And these people would sometimes not turn up for class, unlike the gung-ho high achievers and the perfectionist, who NEVER miss a class, EVER.

The Bimbo-ish Questioner. Obviously these people are from the female group. There are males who fit this description but they would then be called Himbo-ish Questioners. Anyway, the girl in my class has straightened hair and came in today with shocking pink slippers, black tights, and an oversized pull-over. She has this high-pitched voice, always looks cheery and laughs a lot too. She would ask obvious questions and sometimes the lecturer looks at her and I can imagine this going through his mind "Oh my god you are dumb aren't you". Ahah. Or maybe I'm just imagining things during those bored-out-of-my-mind moments. She would try to look smart by taking notes and stuff, and attempting to share ideas, but she still looks like a bimbo to me. Too bad. Maybe less of her high-pitched giggles would improve her image.. hehhe..

The quiet note-taker. These type of people are the reserved, shy ones. They come into class un-noticed and are happy just to quietly take notes without saying anything for the whole session. Any attention drawn to them, i.e. a question thrown to them by the lecturer, would cause a panic attack and possible speech impairment when trying to respond.

The restless leg-shaker. Now people like these are the restless, can't-sit-still type. They are usually moderate achievers, although they could sometimes outperform others in subjects they are highly interested in. They suffer from what is called The Restless Leg Syndrome, which makes them shake their legs constantly. It's not that they're impatient, but that could also be the reason sometimes. They pay attention in class, and would sometimes share their thoughts, but are prone to bouts of spacing-out moments during class. Doodling, chatting and laughing with a friend, observing class mates, or daydreaming would be their normal in-class activities, apart from paying attention from time to time. Sounds like yours truly. Ahah.

late night rants

2009-04-27T01:20:00.003+08:00

(Source: detnews.com)

I'm not usually into TV shows (except for cartoons like Futurama and Family Guy) but I've been watching tv a lot of late. Also due to the fact that my 'housemates' watch tv a lot. Ahah. Anyway, last week's House episode about Kutner's suicide was a really disturbing/touching one. I was thinking about it days after that. The music for that episode also played a part in making it so touchingly sad. Pete Yorn - Lose You. Damn. The song is haunting. That episode made me think of things like 'what if someone close to you suddenly passed away'. Would we even have the chance to show how much we truly care for the person? Did we say all that we could have said to make things better?
People around us shouldn't be taken for granted. That does not mean that we should give in to whatever people ask of us. Just show our love whenever we can. Put our ego/pride aside. Call friends. Talk to distant relatives. Say "I love you" and really mean it to your parents. Renew lost friendships. Because you'll never know when it might be too late to tell a person how much you actually cared for him/her.
The world is bigger than our little problems with group-mates in Uni. There are more pressing issues than our petty romantic losses and rejections. And less can be said about our mindless thoughts and actions towards other people.
Look at the bigger picture. Yes there are small matters we have to deal with along this road we call Life. But after getting past these bumps, we realise that they were just phases we need to go through. No need for stressing and hair-pulling. We'll find another issue and forget the last. So why not just go through it with as little hassle as we can and make the most of other happier things?
The people we really care for. Our values and deep interests in life. Spiritual enhancement of the self. Connection of the spiritual self with God. And the ultimate happiness we all want to achieve. Aren't these worth way more to be spending time on? But of course.
I sound like a hippie.

(Source: boswellsparty.com)

oh yeah it's friday

2009-04-24T17:02:00.004+08:00

Everybody Dance Now!! rock this party! dance everybody! make it hot in this party!

Fridays are so good. Especially in the afternoons. You still have a few hours of daylight to do anything without the lurking thought of the next day. And you can even put things til tomorrow. Coz tomorrow is Saturday!! wee..
Let's see.. what have I got planned for tomorrow.. hmm... Nothing!! Isn't it great! wahahaha.. Oh wait.. I have futsal in the morning. Even better! =P
And to top it all off, I'm working tonight! ahah. Been so long since I last worked (3 days). Just hope tonight would be acceptably busy.

baju kurung! =P

shake shake shout walk-a-bout

2009-04-23T12:48:00.002+08:00

I'm so hyper now. Advantage: I don't feel sleepy. Disadvantage: My leg won't stop shaking, I can't sit still, I get noisy, and I feel like eating.
I saw a miss-call from Pamela and was wondering why she suddenly called me. I'm pretty sure she had something to ask me coz she would never call just for a chat. Ahah. The un-emotional Pam. But I was still happy to know she called. So I called back.

Mona: Pam! Hi! You called?
Pam: erm...no.. I accidentally dialled your number.

awwww.... hahahaa...

thus ends the week-free

2009-04-22T03:47:00.004+08:00

The end of the week-free marks the beginning of SIX gruelling weeks to be endured. Even the number is evil. Arrghhh.. but I shall persevere!

The mother has requested me to stop working. Say what????? Stop working? Me? O-M-G.

A friend of mine probably gave me the best insight into my own life; he said, "you think too much." Right on.

I applied for a job in Kuching as well as one here in Perth. The idea of working in Kuching was at first not really thought of, as I initially wanted to get some experience here. However, due to the obvious economic environment, employment is scarce here in Perth. Kuching would definitely have jobs for me, of that I'm sure. Not to mention the friends and family I have there (and the FOOD!!). However, working here would also give me invaluable experience for future job opportunities. Hmm.. let's just see how it goes.

I'm dreaming of a warm fuzzy afternoon, sitting under a tree, reading a book. And falling asleep with dreams of more greens and sunshine. Waking up to a soft breeze and realizing that it's still mid-afternoon with plenty of time for extra sunny naps and fuzzy laziness. Sigh. *stares at screen with a faraway look*

(source: Calvin & Hobbes)

put simply

2009-04-16T00:14:00.003+08:00

.contra.

.chicken wings.
.coca cola.

.coffee.
.short.
.fuckin' blowjob.
.stress.
.white chocolate.
.eat.
.kuching.
.awkward.
.pierce.
.relationships.
.job.
.incompetence.
.procrastinate.
.new carpet.

dramas dramas

2009-04-11T18:04:00.002+08:00

My hair is falling in clumps. I'm so stressed.
My boss found out that there was some cash missing in the cash collection on the day I was in charge of the cashier. He emailed me asking for an explanation. So I went there that night itself to see what the mistake was. But he didn't bring the balance sheet. So he said tomorrow. But he already took my name off my usual shift (the one that I usually do is Thursday lunch). Does that mean he has lost trust in me? Even before knowing what happened that day? Best thing is, subsequent days after that night, he keeps forgetting that piece of paper. Not that it would help to recover the money, but at least there's something we could check on. Also, he did not make an effort to talk to me personally. I have been stressed out of my mind since that night. Mainly because I feel he doesn't trust me anymore, he did not reassure me that he did not think I stole the money, and I feel so helpless because I can't do anything. Working used to give me pleasure, simply because I enjoy it. Now I just feel awkward.
I'm hurt because all this while I worked there I felt so happy, and didn't even bother when I worked overtime without getting paid. I was just happy to be there. And one mistake (that has not even been cleared out) has made my boss lost trust in me.
And my best friend is keeping a distance from me. I don't even know why.

post birthday reflections

2009-04-06T17:43:00.002+08:00

Birthday was FUNtastic!! weeee... cooked for friends, had friends over, and danced the night away. Couldn't ask for more. =D
oh and both my parents remembered my birthday this time.
Meeting with the groupmates today was as usual; Annoying + Stressful + Headache-inducing + Confusion. When will I know why they just rub me the wrong way every time.
I am 24 years old now. *checks for joint pains* nope.. still as supple as before. ahah. Faint awareness of the creeping issues of womanhood. Ergh. Don't even get me started.
Some friends are married. Some have careers confidently launched. Some practically have their whole life planned out..or at least the next 10 years of it. Some are not so happy with work. Some are still studying. Some are finishing. Some are bumming around. Some are looking for prospective partners. Some are saving up for further education. Some are travelling here and there. Some still don't know what to do. Hmm.. me..?

thoughts on april fool's

2009-04-01T10:44:00.004+08:00

So I cleaned my room. Didn't know my room was so spacious. ahahaha.. no more weaving through books, laundry piles, and bags strewn all over the floor. **Breathe in...breathe out** aaaahhhhh....
Skipped dancing class today. Mizah had some bowel issues. And the siblings (sis and I) were just in a lazy mood for dancing. So we all skipped. Feeling a twinge of pain for missing 2 weeks in a row. I paid for it already! Oh well.
The crouching-repetitive-cheapskate landlord is supposed to inspect the house today. Haven't heard from him. Hope he forgot. Be gone with you!! -Poof!-
The economy is looking ever more gloomy. Read in a magazine somewhere that immigration here in Australia has been cut down substantially to reduce competition for jobs between foreigners and Australians. Thoughts about working in Kuching have been making me more and more excited about actually going back and working there. But leaving friends here is not going to be easy. Hmm... That's why Facebook was created! =)
"ni kenapa happy sangat ni?" ahaha.. I don't know.. weekfree? letting go? clean room? friendzzz? work tonight? hehehe.. but it sure feels good.
Hyper Man is coming. "eee pahal sik pake loar tok na?" ahahaha... weeee enjoyyyyyyy...
I have decided to just do it! Guess what. eehehe..

my brain goes a-bee-boppa-lulllaaaah!

2009-03-29T02:13:00.005+09:00

Have been having thoughts of dropping one of my Units. Small Business 200 to be exact. all these meetings, running around, calling people, seeing people, and talking with highly-competitive groupmates are making me feel annoyed and demotivated. I can cope with it. I'm just annoyed. So using my better judgement, I have decided to put my personal feelings aside and just trudge through til the end. I believe things always change for the better.
Working have taken a large part of my waking hours..and slowly creeping into my sleeping hours as well. Not that I'm complaining. I'm relishing every moment of it. It's just that studies get in the way sometimes. Ahaha..
Facebook is beginning to annoy me. Or rather, people who seem to have nothing better to do but update their status every few minutes about the most unimportant things. Urgh. I know it's none of my business. But it shows up on my Facebook home!

So-and-so is hungryy..
So-and-so is going to sleep now...
My room is like the Bermuda Triangle. Things just disappear under the piles of clothes, books, and random things. A sudden and brief thought of taking a picture of my room and putting it here just went through my mind. No way hozayyy. It's just gross. I read somewhere that your living area reflects your mind. Oh man my head must be super messed up then.
Laughed so much at work today. We played truth or dare after closing. Even Che Mat joined! ahaha.. it soon became a session where everyone shared their most embarrassing moments. Che Mat have had quite some embarrassing moments back in the days. ahaha.. I told them about MY most embarrassing moment. Crap don't even want to think about it. Ahahaha..

me want

2009-03-25T20:01:00.002+09:00

waking up on the wrong side of the bed

2009-03-16T11:38:00.002+09:00

Woke up to the voice of my landlord. bad news.

Realised it was already 10:30am and I had a class at 8:30, which I obviously missed. crap.

Landlord stayed back for a while to teach us how to use the alarm system. Errgghh.. Go back! ultimate annoyance.

Just found out I have a group meeting in a while. releeeease meeeee!

coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecofffeeeeeee... *slurp* arhhh..... *faraway look in my eyes*

ok so it's Friday the 13th

2009-03-13T15:06:00.003+09:00

In campus. Supposed to be doing work. But dammit this whole Friday the 13th deal is putting me down. hahahaa.. excuses.

Haih. So much work. Wayyy too little motivation. Bad combination.

Nakatsu please come and cheer me up. Bring Sano too. Sigh.

Have you ever noticed how people who have broken up with their bf/gf tend to look for someone who looks somewhat similar to their ex gf/bf?
ok I forgot what I wanted to type here.

beyond our comprehension

2009-03-04T20:58:00.005+09:00

[a drawing by a 5 y/o Palestinian girl]

The drawing symbolises the pain that Palestinian children are suffering from the Israel-Palestine war. This girl drew her house in red because it was burned by a spate of bombing. She also drew in red a man whom she witnessed killed. Another girl lost her mother and her house was hit by rockets. She drew herself in the house alone and she drew herself without a body as her stomach was hurt by the bombings. At the end of the drawing, she drew herself as a flower and wrote her name above it.

Ibrahim, 9, was hit by Israeli bullets on 4 January and died before his siblings' eyes, with their injured parents barely conscious nearby, the family say. His body lay for four days outside their house before the fighting waned enough for neighbours to take it away on a donkey cart. After Ibrahim's death, Sobhy (his younger brother) began behaving like his sibling and asking to be called Ibrahim. "School's fine," he says, when asked. "I like maths." But he stares at the ground and tears soon well in his eyes.

(BBC News)

and we think our problems are big.

coffee n00b

2009-03-03T21:15:00.003+09:00

Wheeezzzzze.... *gasp*gasp*

I need to stop for a breath. Damn. First week of uni was sh*t loads of work! I was like whaaa..?? and some readings were supposed to be done BEFORE uni started.. I was already feeling left behind on the first week!! and there I was feeling all good because I thought I prepared early. And on top of it all, I have competitive groupmates for Small Business (one of the units with the most workload). Which means they would want everything to be done PERFECTLY. oh noyy..

Anyhoooos.. Enough doom and gloom. Gotta fill my mind with happier and lighter thoughts. Work is good. ehehe.. (thinking about work makes me happy). I got some shifts this week. Well yea it does make me a bit more busier than I would be but hey, I'm enjoying it. And funnily enough, the busier I get, the more I get things done. It's like the more I have on my list of to do's, the more I hustle because I feel like I might not have enough time. Like when I had absolutely nothing to do during the holidays and I had to clean the house, I didn't do it. I kept thinking "oh there's still tomorrow..and the day after.. and after that...so why worry?".. hahaa.. but now that I'm busy with uni and work etc, the house gets cleaned. Partly because my annoying-repetitive-crouching landlord said he's going to come and check also la.. hehehe..

I've started drinking coffee in the morning. Since I have 3 days of 8am classes. And I need to stay awake and alert during these classes. This morning it gave me stomach pains. I don't know why. Kinda like gastric pains. Sharp intense pain. Was it the coffee that I gulped down too fast because I was already late? But it did serve it's purpose of keeping me wide awake during class. Hyper even. Hmm..

And ever since I started on coffee (I take the one that says 70% more antioxidant than Green Tea so I don't feel so guilty about the unhealthiness of drinking coffee), I've been a bit concerned about my breath. Coffee seems to have a lingering smell after you drink it. So I bought mints (sugarless.. ahaha) to carry around with me. And then I offered some to a friend. And it got me thinking:

If someone offers you mint, does it mean he/she is trying to say your breath stinks?

hahaha.. anyway.. oh yea and coffee makes me pee more. And my pee smells like coffee. So weird. OK maybe just a wee bit too much information here.

Is there anything natural that would keep me awake and alert and energetic and attentive in the morning? Besides sleeping early la...

student mode =ON=

2009-02-23T20:58:00.004+09:00

My class was at 8:30am today. And tomorrow. And Friday. All my classes start at 8am this semester. Whoaaaa... But at least I have Wednesday and Thursday fweeeee.... And maybe I can train myself to wake up early from now on. Have been having trouble sleeping lately. Irregular bedtime that's why. I blame it all on the closing shift. Hihi.. And my own late-night-panicky-last-minute assignment stints last semester.

Retail Marketing and Distribution seems like an interesting class. Looks like an opportunity for an HD.. maybe? Racism was all too obvious, yet again.

"Ok class, please walk around and make groups"

Caucasians stand up and walk to other caucasians. Asians left to choose among themselves.

Okayy.

Ooooh I haven't mentioned the spider I saw in the kitchen yesterday. It was huge. I was going to trap it under a plastic container but it ran towards me with its front legs raised!! It was attacking me!! Finally managed to trap it, after much cold-sweating and adrenaline rushes and a slight squeak when I threw the container over it. Phewhh..

[I wonder if it's poisonous]

And then my landlord came this morning. Stomp!! Stomp!! Stomp!! There goes my hard-earned capture. But not after he complained about the lawn and the house. Geeez.

Before I head off to bed:

[the Nasi Lemak i made]

before i hop onto 177

2009-02-21T17:08:00.002+09:00

my shower curtain screeches at me. it is evil. do you have a shower curtain? be afraid.
this is the point where i go "ok, have it your way" and release.
i hope my boss is not pissed at me for breaking his brand new IKEA water jug. it was fragile anyway.
damn now i don't feel like working. oh the wrath of Che Mat!!
no i do feel like working. nothing keeps me away from work. except maybe a 19 million lottery win. woooohooooooooooooo...
ok bye. 177 is about to leave.

random bits

2009-02-20T22:30:00.004+09:00

when I'm stressed and I stay at home, I eat whatever I can find and I always make sure I find chocolate every now and then.
and then I feel like a glut and go for a run.
sometimes when I'm in a hurry to go out, I run around the house looking for my phone and finally find them in my left hand.
when I'm bothered about something, my room gets messy.
I second-guess my own feelings most of the time but at the end of it, I trust my feelings are right.
I feel like dipping my whole head in white chocolate. me need more.
yea I'm not exactly feeling all chirpy-sunshiny smile-dandelions-frolicky happy nowadays.
but I am happy with little things such as a polite customer, Alex's sarcastic jokes (hahaha), spending time at home being lazy, and conversations with friends.
this year is most probably not the best time to be graduating and job-hunting. dammit.

the cooking theory

2009-02-17T16:54:00.002+09:00

Out of boredom and the need to finish off some leftover ingredients, I made Nasi Lemak again today. Now there is a theory about cooking something. Especially complicated dishes.

The first time you cook it, it turns out perfect and all good. Because you followed the recipe to the word and maybe made only highly calculated changes, if any. No impulsive modifications.

The second time you cook the same dish, it doesn't come out quite as right. Most probably, you were over-confident because you got it right the first time. So you think you're good already. So you don't really take that much care when measuring ingredients. And you might try to be clever by modifying some of the steps. Memandai pulak.

The third time you try to cook that same dish, you are a bit more careful than your second attempt. Since your self-esteem have gone down a few notches due to the not so perfect outcome of your previous try. So your third attempt turns out better that the second one. Maybe even better than the first, because you've had practice. Subsequent tries will definitely yield favourable results.

This is actually a theory my Dad came up with. During those days when he used to cook at home and experiment with new recipes. He still does, actually.

housematezilla

2009-02-16T16:47:00.002+09:00

Eating leftover rice from god knows how many days ago. **sniffs rice** still ok ka? whatever. too hungry to care. chomp! chomp! chomp!

I wonder what my next housemate will be like. My sister and I would prefer a guy. For the plain reason that girls always have issues with each other. Dramas. Complaints.
Too noisy la.
Too dirty la.
Too freaky la.
Too bossy la.
Too messy la.
Too this too that.
We're girls too and we would probably complain about another girl if she was our housemate but if it was a guy, we would just say "biaselah, lelaki kan [insert bad house habit here. i.e. messy]". hahaha.. So if we could get a guy who is a computer nerd and stays in his room gaming the whole day, that would be the best. ahaha..

And both my sis and I have agreed that friends are a no-go as our housemate. Seen so many friendships turn bitter after a period of cohabitation. Not nice at all.

valentine schmalentine

2009-02-14T12:23:00.002+09:00

So the internet is finally fixed. Now my laptop is acting up. Haih. Apa daaa..

On the 14th of February 2009, i.e. happy-couples-walking-on-the-streets day,

I made Nasi Lemak! Not bad for my second attempt. First attempt was in Miri ages ago. Wasn't too good. This time was better. Can be repeated. =p
I texted all the people who meant the most to me, wishing them happy valentine's day. My dear friends and parents and sister. I called my aunt while I was cooking my sambal tumis and initially wanted to ask her whether the sambal takes very long to cook or did I do something wrong. So I called and of course I wished her happy v-day right, since it was today. And she sounded so happy so I didn't ask her about the sambal because I felt bad. Hahaha.. I didn't want her to feel as if I called her actually just to ask her about the sambal.. hahaha.. awwwww.... but I always call that particular aunt on special occasions. She's close to my family..

Rai: Didit, how are you going to celebrate V-day with your wife?
Didit (a chubby person): You're too young to know lah. I'm going to put roses around the bath tub.
And then Didit walked away.
Alex: Dia nak letak roses keliling bath tub?? Didit masuk bath tub tu, setengah air tub tu hilang, you tau! Roses pun habis hanyut!

HAhahahaha....

is it just me

2009-02-04T17:48:00.002+09:00

Hyedeeho..

Blogging from Mizah's place. Again. Iinet better get to my house soon. Or else.

Was at work for 12 hours yesterday. Was called upon the night before to do the afternoon shift. And for the first time, without training or anything, I stumbled along all alone on the afternoon anchor shift. Wasn't that bad. Quite challenging. Given that I came late and that made it even more hectic for me coz by the time I got there, there were customers waiting outside the door and all the stuff were not prepared yet. Oomagah. And why did I come late? Well, clever me, I missed the bus. And why is that? Because me being the kamboh person that I am, have been looking at the wrong bus schedule. That explains why I've been missing the bus all this while. Hahah..

Was just telling a friend (name not displayed for privacy purposes. eheh) that we should not depend on other people to make us happy. Happiness is within ourselves. That's when it hit me that I've been letting external things affect my frame of mind. When I'm the one who should create my own happiness. Again, easier said than done.

Is it just me or

people you trust are the ones who hurt you the most. well the dickheads at least. and yeah i do have the tendency to trust the wrong people. ah hell.
living alone makes you think excessively of things that you would usually not. working makes it a bit better.
sometimes the songs you listen to affect the way you feel about your day.
things of the past aren't so easy to forget. a small reminder sends you back all the way with nightmares and stupid imaginative thoughts.

ergh.

here i am

2009-01-21T19:31:00.003+09:00

Taking the chance to blog from Mizah's house. Slept over for a night (oh and tonight as well so that makes it 2 nights). Was supposed to watch some chick flicks with Mizah and Non but upon coming back from work late last night, I discovered Non fast asleep on the sofa downstairs and me being the not-so-enthusiastic movie-watcher, shrugged in resigned acceptance and suggested to the agreeable Mizah that we should sleep too. Ahah. So we slept. Ok end of story. Hehe.

Not quite. Lemme just ramble on a bit more. Just to let loose on some pent-up cravings for the net that has not been satisfied as yet. I have signed up with Iinet, after a few investigative activities on their efficiency. More like asking Mizah and Mamat.

"Iinet bagus ke?"
"Bagus je"
"Ok"

And that was how I decided Iinet is the best.

Have been successfully cleaning the house in the span of this past 2 weeks that I have been here. It should've taken less than 3 days but I wanted to take my time. Like doing one area every 3 days. Hehe. The garage was a horror. Cobwebs everywhere! And the countless Daddy Long Legs watching me with evil beady eyes. And not to mention the weird worm-like dead 'things'. I was constantly worried that something might jump up from the pile of junk that I was digging into. Ergh. What if something bit me and I became all paralysed and there was no one to help me. Lucky I left the garage door opened. Maybe the neighbours would see me. Before I died from the heat at least. Erk.

Exercising have been less successful. Like none at all. Mornings are so hot to jog unless I start at like 6:30am and I usually work evenings, so that leaves me no time at all to jog. Yes, I know, I'm giving excuses again. Silence!! I keeeelll youuu!!

Perth has been kinda cool past 2 days. There was one day it went up to 43 degrees. Oy Moy Gawd! It was practically steaming. You know it's very hot when:

the chocolate bar that you left on your desk turns into chocolate spread
the lunch leftover you want to have for dinner does not have to be reheated

I read in the papers that it was so hot in this one place in Australia (I don't remember where, was it Broome?), that birds were dropping out of the sky and dying in water fountains. And there was a hotel in this place, and a guest wanted to help the birds. So she opened her windows and let her airconditioning running 'so the birds could cool down'. And another guest left the water tap in the hotel garden running so that the birds could drink. For the whole day! Whaaa...????? Tuyuk li.

Ok me wanna go jogging. Finally.